Allow Me To Explain- Take Me To The Pilot

Everybody, for good or ill, watches television, but very few people know about the process of how the shows they watch, both beloved and benighted, actually get on the air.

Now some of you have read my little explanation of what producers do, and the difference between Executive Producers, and regular Producers. It's a little different in television, because in television there are two types of Executive Producers.

You see the first kind of TV Executive Producer is what I call the "money" producer. They put together initial package for the show, which involves getting a production company or studio to finance the making of a pilot, and makes the sale to a network.

The second kind of TV Executive Producer is also called a "show-runner." It's their job to handle the hiring, firing of staff and cast, picking of scripts, day to day operations and relations with the network.

Okay, now that I have that all clear, we can move onto The Pilot.

And I'm not talking about the guy who operates airplanes, I'm talking about show-biz here.

In TV lingo a pilot is basically a test episode. Where the characters, premise, and overall feel of a show is presented. The pilot is financed by the production company/studio via the deal organized by the "money" Executive Producer and is quite a risky venture on their part, because over 90% of pilots fail to clinch a series, and can cost millions of dollars to make. If they don't sell the pilot, the financiers are out of pocket and unlikely to make it back unless it's made in some sort of stand-alone format like a TV movie that might at least be aired, or released on DVD.

TV drama and comedy, is a very writer dominated business. Most show-runners are writers or former writers, and the other producers, who handle a lot of the many tasks needed in running a major TV show, are usually also writers, their rank of producer or associate producer, showing their rank on the writing food chain, with either the show runner, or another producer acting as head writer.

Pilots that get made into a successful series have hit the jackpot. The network usually pays for all the production costs, as well as staff & cast salaries, and keep all the profits from the initial airing, and first round of repeats. The producers, cast, and studio make their real money when the show enters syndication heaven. Syndication is where a show that has enough episodes to fill a healthy daily rerun schedule gets sold to air on local and cable stations, sometimes in perpetuity. The studio and producers keep all the money they make from syndication.

Now in the age of media mergers with the lines between studios and networks blurring, the networks try to get a piece of that sweet syndication cash. Some networks are showing preferences to picking pilots produced by studios related to them, and then, if they survive, selling those shows (under market value) to rerun on cable networks they own. Some networks, since they're also acting as the studio, are passing on making the pilots entirely, and commissioning whole series from just a pitch.

This "keep it in the family" attitude has had created more problems than it solved, with networks unsuccessfully rehashing old shows, and ripping off low-rent reality shows, and leaving many actors, writers, and producers cheesed off and unwilling to bring their "A Game" to these networks because the rewards are so little. So the old system, in some form or another, will probably return as soon as the architects of the current boondoggle are ousted.

And that's how television is made.

Allow Me To Explain- But What I Want To Do Is Direct...

Okay, last time I talked about the various kinds of Producers are the people that get a film made, today I'm going to be discussing the person who actually makes the film.

I'm talking about The Director.

The Director, otherwise known as the auteur, the filmmaker, the genius, the visionary, the no-talent hack, and the dictator, has a very simple job on the surface, but below that surface is a whole truckload of complications. Yes, it is the director's job to make the movie, but it's really the director's job to be the centre of everything.

You see film-making is highly collaborative with loads of people contributing, from the writers, designers, cinematographers, and just about every buddy and their cousin from Newfoundland. It is the job of the Director to cut through this clutter with their own vision to create the film, and to take the elements, ideas, suggestions, and orders from his collaborators to hone and improve this vision.

It wasn't always like this. Directing came from the theatre, and the first film directors just handled the actors, using whatever sets, props, and locations, were at hand, while the cameraman handled the technical aspects, and most cases, even the props, and the editors just took whatever takes were done right, and slap them together into a finished film. But that began to change when directors like D.W. Griffith started taking more control of things beyond the actors, to how the film looked, and how it was finally put together. I'm not saying that people like Griffith started doing everyone else's jobs, that would be nutty, but the collaboration system began. And as the technology of film-making grew more sophisticated, films needed some at the creative centre of the film to ensure that the stories being told were just as sophisticated.

When the studio system kicked in full steam in the mid-1920s most directors became salary-men, grinding out films assigned to them by their bosses, at a fairly regular rate. Yet even in this system some directors stood out because the qualities they instilled in their films made them critically and commercially appealing. Certain studios, usually the ones lacking in major stars, began vying for these filmmakers, even luring some in from the thriving European cinema scene, especially Germany.

In the 1950s the French magazine Cahiers du Cinema presented a new theory about Directors, popularly known as the Auteur theory. The micro version of this theory was that even in the restrictions of the classic studio system directors like Alfred Hitchcock, John Ford, Howard Hawks, and others, were the true authors, or auteurs, of their films.

Interestingly, this revelation coincided with the slow death of the studio system, transforming directors from studio employees to freelance artists. Now everyone wanted to be the Director, and the new phenomenon of film schools began turning them out by the classload.

That's not to say that film-making became a happy kingdom where Directors made films the way they wanted to. He who pays the piper ultimately calls the tune, and only a select few of commercially successful director-producers had the sort of complete independence with their films for good or ill. Although reasonable producers, working with reasonable directors, usually have their creative issues settled before a single frame is shot.

Now what about those other "Directors" you see in the credits.

ASSISTANT DIRECTORS (AD): These fellows handle the little details so the auteur doesn't have to. Their responsibilities range from doing errands, passing along orders from the director, all the way to directing background players (or "extras").

DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY (DOP): This person supervises the technical aspects of lighting, camera work, and their relation to sets and physical effects. They take the director's vision and makes them into images on film.

2nd UNIT DIRECTORS: Almost every major feature film has two "Units." The first unit has the director, the DOP, the main cast, and the main crew. The 2nd Unit handles all the things that don't involve the main cast. This can include everything from major stunts, to "inserts" like close-ups of hands, feet, or props that don't need the original stars.

Next time, I'll explain how a TV show gets made.

Allow Me To Explain- What Does a Producer Produce?

It's been a question that's dogged the movie business since the dawn of time: "What exactly does a producer do?"

Well, the simplest explanation is that while a director makes a film, it is the producer's job to make sure the film gets made. Now not all producers are created equal, more times than necessary the credit of "producer" is doled out to people as wide ranging as investors, the star's manager, and the studio CEO's surfer bum of a son in law, and only the investor actually contributed anything to the making of the film, even though they never actually visited the set. I find these sorts of name-games cheapens the work of the producers who actually, you know, produce.

But among the producers who actually produce, there's a very definitive hierarchy.

EXECUTIVE PRODUCER- This is the person who puts together the initial "package" of the film. That entails picking a script, recruiting stars, a director, the producers, and arranging the financing of the film, either independently, or through a studio. Once this package is put together and given the green-light by a studio or financier, the Executive Producer moves onto putting together other movie-packages, and hands off responsibilities to the...

PRODUCER- This is the person in the field, who supervises the production process. That means making sure the creative staff gets the film made on time, and on budget. The Producer is assisted by one or more...

ASSOCIATE PRODUCERS- These folks are the Producers deputies, handling specific organizing tasks hopefully in accordance to the producer's wishes. They are assisted by...

LINE PRODUCERS- Also called PRODUCTION MANAGERS. They handle the number-crunching, salary management, scheduling, and logistics needed to get the large enterprise of a feature film working efficiently. The are assisted by PRODUCTION COORDINATORS, PRODUCTION ACCOUNTANTS, and several PRODUCTION SECRETARIES.

Why all these people? Because unless you're shooting a movie in your basement with your spouse, a swinger who works as a cashier at the Piggly Wiggly, a French maid outfit, and a bottle of tequila, you're going to need a budget, a crew, and the ability to handle a million little details, that if not handled correctly, could cost you millions of dollars. That's more than any one person can possibly handle.

Next time in this erratically scheduled series, I will talk about what the Director does.

Allow Me To Explain: What's An Agent?

I've decided to create a new feature for this little blog, where I try to explain exactly who does what, and to whom in show business for folks who are not familiar with the terminology and often wonders what all those titles mean.

Today, I'm going to talk about that Hollywood institution called THE AGENT.

The Agent is like a pimp.

The Agent finds jobs for their clients and negotiates their contracts, but unlike a pimp the Agent only gets 10% of what that contract earns for their clients. So it's in the agent's best interest that they have many clients, and that as many of those clients as possible be working for as much money as the market will bear, and in the case of many "A-List" stars, way beyond what the market will bear.

Producers like to hire people who have agents, because having an agent tells the producer that they are worth paying attention to. Anyone who tries to do business without the imprimatur of having an agent on their side usually gets lots of attention from studio security before getting the attention of a producer.

Now how does one get an agent?

Well, that can be tricky, especially in Hollywood.

The major agencies do very little work looking for new talent, preferring to poach from the smaller agencies once their clients become successful with promises of bigger pay-offs and perks. Now to find someone with a smaller agency to represent you, especially if you're a writer, starts with something called a "query letter." (Actors can also include head-shots, and audition tapes.)

A query letter is basically a sales pitch, where you try to convince the agent that you are worthy of their time and that they could successfully pitch you to the people who get movies made. If you are successful, and the agent finds you work, and you become successful, then you can be poached by one of the major agencies.

Some agents are more powerful than others, and this is responsible for a phenomenon that dominated the movie business in the 90s, and still goes on to a lesser extent today. I'm talking about something called "packaging."

Packaging was pioneered and perfected by Michael Ovitz when he ran the Creative Artists Agency (CAA). It basically went like this: If you wanted Big Star A to star in your movie, then you had to hire Co-Star B, Director C, and have the script rewritten by Writer D.

A, B, C, D all being clients of Agent E.

Agent E. then gets a shit-load of money in commissions, and a hell of a lot of clout when negotiating with producers and studios. But the problem with clout, is that it can be more intoxicating than any mind-altering substance, and like those mind altering substances, can lead to addiction, abuse, and eventually self-destruction. While Ovitz accrued a massive amount of power through packaging, he also gained a lot of enemies. These enemies struck when he left CAA for a disastrous turn as President of the Disney, and then struck again when he tried to start a new management firm. He made even more enemies by blaming the collapse of his new venture on an amorphous "gay mafia" conspiring against him.

Now Hollywood talent agents in general have a bad reputation for either being shady fly-by-night operators looking to screw their clients, either financially or on the casting couch, or hyperactive Type-A sharks, who are hot tempered, ruthless, and fanatical with their jobs.

Well, to an extent there is some truth to that. However, the crooked agents never really last very long, and thanks to the internet, and the growth of reporting on the business side of show biz. And there are times, especially when dealing with major studios that you need a hyperactive, fanatical, Type-A bastard.

Some things you should know if you are looking for an agent.

Hollywood Talent Agents cannot legally take more than 10% of your fees. That's the law.

Also be suspicious of agencies that demand up front fees just to look at you. It's in the best interest of the smaller legitimate agencies to get as many clients as they can, and legitimate agencies don't charge fees. They make their money selling you, not selling to you.

It also never hurts to do a little research. Most agencies have websites, or websites that discuss and review them, making sorting the wheat from the weasely so much easier.

And that's all.

Next time, I'm not sure when that is, I will explain what a "producer" does.

Furious D's Hollywood Dictionary: D is for....

D.

D-LIST:

1. Unemployed actors who end up doing porn.

2. Wannabe stars who have no talent, but are vaguely attractive enough to do reality TV, then, eventually, porn.

DEVELOPMENT:

1. A place where your rewrite screenplays and make budgets and preparations for the making of a movie.

2. Where screenplays go to die.

DIFFICULT:

1. A career ending label that declares that an actor or filmmaker is hard to work with.

2. A career boosting label that studios mistake for artistic integrity.

Furious D's Hollywood Dictionary: C is for....

Time for another installment of my Hollywood dictionary. If you have any suggestions for terms, just drop me a line in the comments.

For folks who are new to this feature, the first definition is for what the term used to mean in Hollywood, the second is what the term means now.

C-LIST:

1. A mythical list of actors who intermittently worked Poverty Row studios and low rent 'educational' films.

2. Washed up celebrities who don't work enough to make a living, and try to exploit their one past success by doing reality TV.

CELEBRITIES:

1. Famous stars.

2. Anyone who can get their face in front of the cameras and stay there, whether anyone wants to see that face or not.

CHILD STARS:

1. Young actors who achieved success at an early age.

2. Future rehab patients.

CONTEMPT:

1. Dislike or disdain.

2. What Hollywood feels towards the average American moviegoer, filmmakers, and non-celebrity actors.

Furious D's Hollywood Dictionary: B is for....

Here's part 2 of my Hollywood dictionary. If you have any suggestions, drop me a line.

B.

B-LIST:

1. A mythical list of actors whose specialty was at starring in low-budget films designed to appeal to kids, teens and fill out the 'B' section of a double bill.

2. A mythical list of actors who have to work for a living.

BANKABLE:

1. What the A-List used to be.

2. What the A-List ain't no more.

BLOCKBUSTER:

1. A film that makes more than a profit, but a mega-profit.

2. A film that went overboard on FX and marketing, that might make a profit if it's really luck.

BOX OFFICE:

1. The life's blood of Old Hollywood. It was the money earned by a movie through ticket sales.

2. The least important factor in determining if any film gets a green-light these days.

BUTTON PUSHING:

1. Challenging people's preconceptions about a controversial subject through art, that presents a thesis and antithesis blended to present the artist's personal view.

2. Pretending to be a courageous artist by making material that's condescending, derogatory, or downright insulting to any group least likely to respond with legal action or outright violence.

BUZZ:

1. Word of mouth among the general public about the quality and appeal of a particular film.

2. Word of mouth among a select group of elite media figures.

Furious D's Hollywood Dictionary: A is for....

Hello folks...

I've started a new feature. I'm creating a 'Hollywood' dictionary, where I translate certain showbiz related terms and phrases.

Now some of the terms have changed in meaning over the years, so I've set up a simple system to help you navigate it. The first definition (1.) stands for what the term used to mean in the days of Old Hollywood, and the second definition (2.) is what it means now.

Let's begin with the good old letter....

A.

A-LIST:

1. A mythical list of actors whose charisma and popularity with average would attract large audiences to pay for big budget pictures.

2. A term describing any actor with a publicist that can get them lots of magazine covers, and an agent able to squeeze big money out of studios regardless of real box-office appeal.

A-PICTURE:

1. A big budget epic with an all-star cast and a 'classy' story designed to appeal to a mass audience.

2. A film that went over-budget in production on actors and special FX and can never make a profit.

ACTOR:

1. Someone who plays roles in movies to bring the characters to life.

2. A pretty face and bland personality that the industry believes to be the most important element in filmmaking.

AUDIENCE:

1. The most important element in filmmaking. Without an audience you're just making home movies.

2. The least important facet of filmmaking. They must take your crap and call it ice cream.

If you have any showbiz related terms you'd like to see featured in this dictionary, let me know. I'll be posting updates semi-regularly, and will post a final 'full' dictionary when it's completed.