Hollywood Babble On & On #598: SNARK ATTACK!!

Welcome to the show folks...

Been an annoying couple of days gentle and fragrant readers. Mostly it was spent trying install a new dishwasher in my parent's house. Only they appear to have changed EVERYTHING about installing dishwashers since I did it last, and couple that with my utter lack of skill at such things and you have a either a disaster in the making, or a low brow comedy rated X for language & pipe related violence.

So right now I'm feeling a little cranky, and since I'm on the internet, it's time to unleash my inner man-eating great white snark.

----

Singer Katy Perry recently tried to appear on the venerable kids show Sesame Street. I say tried because they cut her appearance from the show.

Why?

Can you see the reason:
Apparently, parents are upset over Sesame Street's pro-recycling stance, which I think is idiotic....

...what?

Oh.

Looks like it wasn't the big blue can that got Ms. Perry shit-canned, but Ms. Perry's two big fun-cans.

Personally, I wasn't offended by her cleavage. The scene where she's motor-boated by Elmo was a tad inappropriate, but that could have been edited out.

All I can say, is if kids can't go to Sesame Street to learn that B is for Boobies, where else can they go to learn that? The internet?

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Jodie Foster is a pro. She never turns down a gig. Want proof, look at her schedule, she just finished directing the ironically titled film The Beaver with Mel Gibson, and is going to France to star in God of Carnage directed by Roman Polanski.

Doesn't matter if you're a racist or a rapist, Foster doesn't care.

I'm sure Polanski is a fan of her early work.

----

Oh Bono, you could have just left it at insufferable egomaniac who was as full of himself as he was full of shit, but you had to cross that line into full blown assholedom.

The British Daily Mail is reporting that U2's frontman's ONE foundation gave about 1.2% of the millions they raised for alleviating world poverty to actually doing anything about world poverty.

Now I can proudly say that I didn't give ONE one penny of my money, and it goes beyond my usual parsimony and Scrooge like revulsion at the thought of helping anyone. I didn't give anything to this group because I read that their prime mission was to "spread awareness."

Let those two words be a warning to you.

"Spread awareness" is code for using your donation to pay for the head of the "charity" to travel around first class to be paid to speak before groups of people who paid to get in and tell them about how you and everyone else is a bastard for not giving him more money to spread more awareness.
Look at what you've done Bono! You're making Don Draper cry. Damn it!

That's it, I'm out of here!

Sorry folks...

Had one real bastard of a day, and the news is a little slow and repetitive for the stuff that gets my dander up. Hopefully I'll have something decent tomorrow. Until then, visit yesterday's post, and offer your opinions on the future of the comics industry.

Comic Book Confidential: The Future Of Comics?

Welcome to the show folks...

Today I'm going to take a little dip into an industry I'm not really an expert on, comic book publishing, and post links, and a few little thoughts on them.

1. DC HEADS WEST YOUNG MAN

DC Comics is moving all their non-publishing operations from New York to Burbank to be closer to their parent company's movie division Warner Bros. Pictures.

The good side of this news is that it will hopefully streamline the film/TV development process for DC properties, which right now seems cursed outside of Batman, and is currently being left behind cinematically by arch-rival Marvel.

The bad side is that a lot of people are losing their jobs, being forced to move to Burbank, and other unpleasantness. Also the Wildstorm Comics line is being retired, but the option of incorporating these characters into the mainstream DCU is being left open, possibly adding a whole new layer to their already head-spinning continuity situation.

Feel free to post your own thoughts on the situation in the comments.

2. WILL THE MAJORS GO MANGA?

Erik Larsen, creator of The Savage Dragon, and partner in the Image Comics company has a suggestion that could bring comics out of the specialty store ghetto, and back in convenience stores and magazine racks where they can bring in new readers.

To sum it up for those too lazy to click the link he's suggesting following a business model that's closer to the Japanese Manga method. A good way to illustrate his argument is that DC comics prints multiple titles all starring Batman every month, as well as spin-offs, crossovers, and special issues. Those books are hated by mainstream retailers because they are small, flimsy, hard to ship, hard to stack in modern magazine racks, and have a profit margin thinner than the paper they're printed on.

Larsen's plan, if I understand it correctly, is to cancel all those monthly titles, break each of their 20-25 page stories into 5 page installments, and combine those installments into a weekly, 60+ page magazine size publication, with a sturdy card-stock cover at roughly twice the price of a standard 'floppy' comic book. Extended stories from these new combined magazines could also still be collected into graphic novels and trade paperbacks as they are now.

Like I said, I don't really know the comics industry the way I know the movie business, so I'd like your opinion of this plan. Do you think it will work? Fail? Let me know.

Hollywood Babble On & On #597: Little Bits That Plop Out Of My Head

Welcome to the show folks...

TGIM... okay, maybe not, but to get you over the proverbial Monday blahs here are a few drippings from my proverbial brain pan...

MGM- MUMBAI GOES METRO?

There is yet another development that could decide the fate of the long moribund MGM studio. First Spyglass Entertainment is trying to move it out of distribution and into production, mostly TV, but now there's a new player. Indian conglomerate Sahara India Pariwar is in the early stages of making an offer to buy MGM from its owners/creditors for about $2 billion. Some reports say that the Broccoli family, whose EON Productions own the screen rights to James Bond are supporting this deal.

I suspect that the Broccoli family is hoping that this partnership will let the next James Bond movie have scenes like this:



I know I showed it before, but I love that scene so damn much.... yet it does not love me back....

Anyway, but seriously folks, there are some pretty good reasons for the Broccoli family to back any deal that keeps MGM a viable independent producer and distributor.

1. With an independent MGM, EON and James Bond are quite literally the big fish in the pond. If the franchise is doled out to another studio, they become yet another franchise fighting for resources with all of the studio's other franchises.

2. Being the big fish in the MGM pond means EON can fight the inevitable studio meddling, where some suit will force them to replace Daniel Craig with Tracy Morgan, team him up with Jackie Chan, and make it into a buddy-cop comedy directed by Brett Ratner.

3. SIP must have impressed the Broccoli family with a very detailed and serious plan to make MGM viable again, and included a plan to get the Bond franchise back on screens before Daniel Craig has to collect his old age pension.

Personally, I wish good luck to anyone who can make MGM a successful company again. Hollywood needs the competition, the market needs another buyer, and the audience sure could use another supplier of entertainment operating outside the narrow group-think of the other majors.

UPDATE: MGM management denies going Bollywood. We'll have to wait and see if the next Bond movie has any spontaneous musical numbers.

EASY A GETS A B-, WHILE THE TOWN GOES TO TOWN

Every box office expert in Hollywood was saying that teen comedy/chick flick Easy A was going to handily beat Ben Affleck's starring/directing caper flick The Town. It was PG-13, versus The Town's R Rating, the star Emma Stone was very charming, and while The Town had a lot of critical buzz, conventional wisdom was betting against it.

Turns out they were wrong.

The Town kicked butt, over-performing all estimates, while Easy A did okay, it under-performed all the expert predictions.

Why?

Two reasons:

1. MATURITY: The older audience, 25+ by Hollywood's reckoning, is hungry for a movie that offers action and suspense with a decent plot. They were disappointed by The American, getting a portrait of middle age ennui, and took a chance on The Town. Plus, people have been watching Ben Affleck slowly and surely rebuild his movie career by working his ass off after almost sinking it during that whole Bennifer fiasco. I call that the Robert Downey Jr. effect. It means that the audience respects and rewards hard work on the part of movie stars rebuilding their careers after some bad moves and worse movies.

2. WEAK MARKETING: The ad campaign for Easy A got a D- on my rankings. Too many ads showed it as just another goofball teen comedy while others showed too much of Amanda Bynes as the film's bitchy evangelical Christian villain. This isn't a knock against Bynes, but at the character. Remember, 75% of Americans are active Christians, many of them belong to evangelical churches, and they tend to ignore and avoid movies that portray them as villains. Personally, I wouldn't have written the character that way. The "I condemn thee" evangelical type is a boring cliche, that ignores the comic potential that lay in making the character more of a Ned Flanders-type, a meddling do-gooder whose well meaning but poorly executed attempts to 'save' the mislabeled harlot create even more chaos.

The film did do pretty good, but that short-sightedness over the picture's villain could cost Easy A its proverbial box-office legs in the long run.

JEFF ZUCKER YOU ARE A NATIONAL TREASURE

At least to me, because you're still providing me with material. His most recent jaunt into my verbal cross-hairs is his talk to student at the Wharton School of Business in Philadelphia. He was there to give a talk on "Leadership and Management."

Think about that... he lead and managed NBC-Universal to near extinction. Asking Jeff Zucker to talk about leadership and management is like...

...asking Attila the Hun to talk about the importance of diplomacy.

...asking OJ Simpson about maintaining marital happiness.

...asking Field Marshal Haig to discuss modern military strategy.

...asking Phil Spector about successful legal defense strategies.

...asking Lindsay Lohan to lecture about saying no to drugs.

I'm sure you can all whip up a few of your own, please leave them in the comments.

Saturday Silliness Cinema: MONEY!

Welcome to the show folks...

Time for my Saturday break from my usual ranting about the business behind pop culture to have a little laugh.

Today an old Monty Python chestnut, which, thanks to the Euro, features a lot of currencies that just don't exist anymore. I guess when they were uniting Europe's economies they didn't consider the effect it would have on comedy. Try rhyming something with "Euro."

The Case of the Sunken Sequel

I had just returned to my office on the corner on the corner of Melrose and the Boulevard of Broken after a very long day. I had just cracked the case of the Creepy Croaked Critic when a figure appeared at my door.

"You Furious D, the Private Dick?" asked the figure.

"I am," I said, my world weary cynicism flowing as freely as the rotgut whiskey flowed into my glass. "What do you want?" I asked as I downed the whiskey in one macho manly gulp.

When I regained consciousness I realized that I really can't hold my liquor.

"You're awake," said my visitor, who I realized was Rupert Murdoch. "Good, I got a job for you."

"What kind of a job?" I asked as I picked myself up from my puddle of vomit.

"It's trouble," said Murdoch, "a lot of bloody blimey trouble."

"Trouble is my business," I said.

"I thought you were a bloody private dick?"

"Let's not go in circles," I said as I splashed off my face in the sink, "and let's not use the words 'bloody' and 'dick' in the same sentence, this blog disappoints enough weirdos doing Google searches."

"It's a bloody crikey bastard of a bloody case," said Murdoch.

"Just give me the details," I said, "and some cash."

Rupert Murdoch dropped a fat envelope on my desk, then he spilled the beans.

"Crikey," said Murdoch, "sorry about that, who leaves an open can of beans on their desk?"

"Just tell me about the case!"

"It's James Cameron," said Murdoch. "His movies have made my studio a bloody shitload of money. But his movies cost a bloody shitload of money too."

"So?"

"He's just announced that he wants to shoot part of Avatar 2 in the bloody goddamn Marianas Trench!"

"Isn't that like seven miles underwater?"

"Yes!" barked Murdoch. "I'm just scared that his luck at making blockbusters might run out on the film that leaves my proverbial didgeridoo hanging out to the tune of half a billion dollars. And what if there's an accident and someone drowns, or gets eaten by something? I could be on the hook even more!"

"What do you want me to do?"

"Find him and find out why he's gone off his nut!"

"Drop another envelope on my desk," I said, "and do it without spilling any more of my precious beans, and I'll take your case."

Murdoch reached into his jacket for another envelope when his eyes caught something through my office window.

"Crikey," barked Murdoch, "a dingo's got my baby! Not bloody again!"

#

I thought that if I was going to find James Cameron I was going to have to burn some shoe leather. I soon realized that all burning shoe leather did was fill my office with smelly smoke, so I thought I'd try beating the bushes. All that did was disturb some homeless people, and awake a very cranky badger.

Hitting the streets hurt my knuckles, and I realized that I was running out of meta-fiction type jokes using old cliches. There was a way to find James Cameron, and it was the quickest, just follow the trail of ex-wives.

The trail led me deep into the depths of the Hollywood Hills. The underbrush hadn't been burnt out in a wildfire in a while and had threatened to totally consume the road and my purple 1975 AMC Gremlin. Through twists and turns I drove, expecting any minute to run into the ghost of Dennis Hopper festooned with cameras talking like he was in Apocalypse Now.

Then I did.

"Sorry Dennis," I said to his ghost.

"That's all right," answered Dennis Hopper's ghost, "I'm incorporeal, no harm, no foul."

"I'm looking for James Cameron's place," I asked him, "do you know where it is?"

"It's at the end of the road," said the ghost as he faded away. "I'd show you, but I'm booked to haunt a house in Silver Lake."

"Have fun," I said, then I put my Gremlin into gear and plunged deeper into the interior of a world that probably mirrored the subconscious of someone if this story had been done by a better writer.

#

"Who are you?" asked a voice from the other side of the massive solid steel gate with a solid gold 'JC' emblazoned on it.

"I'm Furious D, I'm a private dick sent by the studio to talk to Mr. Cameron."

"You were really sent by the studio?" asked the voice.

"Yes," I said, "Rupert Murdoch himself sent me."

"Did a dingo tried to get his baby while he was there?"

"You know I never pass up a good Australian stereotype gag."

"You may enter," said the voice. An engine roared to life, and a great pillar of exhaust spewed from a smokestack next to the gate. The gate creaked and moaned and slowly opened.

A small officious looking fellow in a neatly tailored gray suit emerged from behind the gate. "My name is R. Daniel Oliver," said the man, "I am Mr. Cameron's personal assistant. You will have to leave your car here. Mr. Cameron does not allow such crimes against Mother Earth into his private environmentally perfect compound. We'll get to the house golf cart."

Mr. Oliver clicked a remote control and a gold plated golf cart, complete with Academy Award hood ornament appeared, as if someone just wrote that it was there.

I got in and we began the five mile trek to the house. Which took about three hours, the cart's engine straining to bear the weight of the gold plating. At least, I think it was the gold weighing it down.

"This is a perfectly self-sustaining community," said Mr. Oliver as we drove past fields of Jentucky Bluegrass, maintained in the harsh southern California desert by legions of sprinklers spraying water in all directions. Then we past a field of SUV's parked in a lot marked 'Extra Vehicles." "Everything here is in perfect harmony with Mother Earth."

"I guess it's all solar powered," I said.

"Mostly."

"How much is solar powered?"

"There's a light in the garden shed that's solar powered," answered Mr. Oliver. "At least we think it is, it doesn't seem to want to work at night."

We arrived at a house that about as wide as two football fields. Oliver didn't stop the cart, instead he just drove it up the imported marble staircase, severely jostling my sacroiliac.

"Mr. Cameron designed this place himself," said Oliver as we left the stairs and started driving down a hallway that I soon realized was once MC Hammer's house. In fact, he was still in it, rocking a pair of glittery harem pants.

We drove another hour down this long hall until we reached a solid gold door, encrusted in diamonds in the shape of the letters JC in the center. Oliver spoke into a walkie talkie.

"The man from the studio is here," said Oliver.

Another engine roared to life somewhere as the door slowly opened. I didn't wait for it to open completely and slipped in.

"Mr. Cameron?" I asked realizing that I had just stepped into a dark room, lit only by banks of TV monitors tuned into dead channels.

"It's wonderful that you're in darkness Mr. Cameron," declared Oliver as he followed me in.

"Where are you?" I asked, turning on a light, revealing what could only be called an emperor sized bed, solid gold, in the center, the mattress made of stacks of compressed $100 bills.

"What do you want?" asked a voice that came from under the bed.

"Oh," said Oliver, "you're under the bed, that's a wonderful idea Mr. Cameron. Truly a work of epic genius."

"Murdoch sent me to talk to you about filming the Avatar sequel underwater," I said. "Especially seven miles underwater."

"NO ONE QUESTIONS JAMES CAMERON'S DECISIONS!" barked Cameron from under the bed. "Oliver, get rid of this plebeian interloper."

"That's a brilliant decision Mr. Cameron," said Oliver as he clamped a hand on my shoulder. This was the trouble Murdoch warned me about, thankfully trouble is my business, and I brought my Colt .45.

The bottle of malt liquor shattered as it came in contact with Oliver's skull. Sparks suddenly flew out of his head, then his head popped off, revealing a mass of circuits and gears. Oliver was a robot, and not a very well built on either.

"Damn," said Cameron. "That robot cost me seven millions dollars!"

"I came here for some answers," I said, "and I'm not leaving until I get them."

"All right," said Cameron, "what do you want to know?"

"Why do you want to shoot Avatar 2 seven miles underwater?"

"Because of the Avatar re-release," croaked Cameron.

"Say what?"

Cameron slid out from under his bed. His hair was long and disheveled, and it looked like he hadn't shaved, and smelled like he hadn't bathed in days.

"I re-released Avatar," said Cameron, "expecting it to be #1 again, but it stank worse than a Nicole Kidman film."

"So what?"

"I then realized what had happened," said Cameron. "The people who paid extra to see the movie in 3D in theaters then went out and bought the DVDs. Watching it at home, without the distraction of 3D, and the novelty of the effects gone, all they had left was the story, the characters, and the dialogue."

"Now I see where you're going," I said. "When they saw the re-release advertising more of that story, characters, and dialogue, and without the novelty of seeing those effects for the first time, they chose to stay at home."

"If I'm going to make a sequel," said Cameron, "I need to do something really crazy to make people want to see it. So I'm going to film it seven miles underwater!"

"Couldn't you just put more work on the story?" I asked. "Maybe collaborate with someone you can't bully into agreeing with your every brain-fart."

"I think I'd rather just spend a few extra hundred million dollars," said Cameron. "It's worked for me before, and it's better for my ego than honest feedback."

I shrugged and nodded. I had my answer, it was time to declare...

CASE CLOSED

Hollywood Babble On & On #596: Sweet Baby Jesus... Not So Sweet

Welcome to the show folks...

Deary me. Peter Hewitt, the director hired to helm the film Sweet Baby Jesus, has left the project because he hasn't been paid by producer Philippe Rebboah,who has been "trying" to get the project off the ground for 6 years.

I put the word "trying" in quotes because something about the whole thing doesn't pass my smell test. I wrote about it before, but I'll repeat myself if you're too lazy to click the link.

1. BAD PREMISE: The whole movie can be summed up very simply-- "A poor American white trash re-enactment of the Nativity story from the Bible." It's essentially a sketch from a cable TV show where the writers have two empty minutes, no original ideas, and think they need to be "edgy."

2. IT'S A GUARANTEED BOMB: It's an indie film, that means that the budget and fees are supposed to be covered from pre-sales, and any hope for a profit must come from a successful release in the USA. However, the USA is 75% Christian, and the majority of non-Christian Americans aren't keen on insulting the Christian Americans, because they think it's rude. Even the hard-core Bill Maher types aren't going to go, because they will know the movie is going to be eight kinds of stink.

3. ULTERIOR MOTIVES: When I first heard of this movie, it was supposed to be a starring vehicle for Britney Spears as the film's hillbilly Mary. Now it's British pop tart Pixie Lott is in the lead role. These are not performers known for their comedic talents, or artistic integrity.

However it is exactly the sort of project they could be talked into doing because it sounds "edgy" and "rebellious." Either they can't see, or refuse to see that the whole deal is neither edgy or rebellious, just condescending or snobbish.

So here's my theory.

Whether or not the film gets made or not, the folks producing it will get do what they can to get their fees and expenses covered via pre-sales, tax credits, etc., and can blame either the failure of the production to get off the ground, or at the box office on the ignorance of investors, and/or the audience, get some pats on the back for "speaking truth to power" and move onto another more lucrative gig.

As for investors, it's not ignorance making them back away, it's that while they understand that indie film investing is inherently a gamble, they at least need a slim chance of getting a return on their investment to make it worth their while.

The really sad part of this story is that projects like these, and the resources wasted on them, are taking away from the kind of independent films that are really edgy, original, and might actually be seen by an actual audience.

I expect a lot more talk about the movie, but no actual movie in the foreseeable future.

Hollywood Babble On & On #595: Little Bitty Link Pieces

Welcome to the show folks...

Bit of a slow news day... so here are a few quick hits...

AT TIFF: WEINSTEIN COMPANY SINKS A SUBMARINE

Harvey Weinstein's magical hypno-coin still has some magic in it. The Weinstein Co. has been on a bit of a shopping spree at the Toronto International Film Festival, recently picking up the British coming of age comedy Submarine.

The rumor is that TWC offered less cash up front, but made a bigger release commitment.

BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Sorry, I just blurted that out.

But come on, you have to admit that past behavior is a pretty good indicator of future behavior, and everything indicates that when the time release the film in 2011 comes... and goes... the only talk about this film will be between lawyers over violated release commitments, and cranks like me liberally peppered with the old chestnut: "I told you so."

I fear that this will join all the other Weinstein Co. acquisitions, which will be propping up the little couch-cushion fort Harvey Weinstein's built in his office.

THANK YOU NERDIST

If you don't know much about Doctor Who, and want to be one of the cool kids, then check out this handy intro from Chris Hardwick's Nerdist website.

CAN'T WAIT FOR THE HOBBIT?

Then thank the good folks at io9, who present The Lord of the Rings... in Finnish.

THE TIDE'S GOING OUT ON ABC

The ABC network is putting together a Prince of Tides TV series.

Why?

Perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself.

If you don't know The Prince of Tides started as a novel by Pat Conroy. It was all about abuse, family dysfunction, and mental illness in the Old South. It was made into an Oscar bait movie by Barbra Streisand in 1991, but only succeeded in getting co-star Nick Nolte a Golden Globe.

I can see them doing a TV movie that's closer to the book.

I can see them doing a mini-series based on the book. The Brits do it all the time.

In fact, if they were to do it as a miniseries, I'd root for them. A lot of books can't be adapted properly into 90min to 2hr movies, but a multi-part "novel for television" could do it right.

If they're doing that, fine.

But I fear that they're going to try to make it a traditional series, with 22-25 episodes each season, and aim for a 100+ episode run. I don't think the writers could stretch a single novel and its characters out that long without becoming a repetitious litany of misery that the audience will avoid like the plague, or turning it into a traditional soap opera.

I just can't see it.

Comic Book Confidential: The Return of Atlas

Welcome to the show folks...

It's time to get your geek on kiddies, because I'm taking a moment to talk about the comic book business. It's just been announced that Atlas Comics has been brought back from the dead.

For those who don't know, I'll give you a little history.

Many moons ago, during the heady days of the 1970s, Martin Goodman owned Marvel Comics. According to legend he sold Marvel to Cadence Inc. on the understanding that his son Chip would remain working for the company. However, according to the legend, Stan Lee, now in charge of the Marvel, gave Chip the boot.

In revenge, Martin and Chip began what was known as Atlas Comics, or Atlas/Seaboard comics. The company's mission was to crush Marvel. It didn't work, and the company eventually folded. Time passed and Martin's grandson Jason Goodman is reviving the company and their characters.

Let's look at the pros and cons of this revival.

PROS:

1. The new Atlas will have the largest privately owned catalog of characters and stories to work with.

2. They've hired comics veteran J.M. DeMatteis to be the editor in chief of this venture. He's an experienced hand who knows the industry well.

3. The original Atlas Comics introduced radical concepts like creators owning the characters they create, returning original artwork to the artist, and profit sharing. All concepts that helped eventually break the work for hire ghetto that dominated the industry since its beginning. Hopefully the new Atlas will keep up that tradition.

4. Baggage. Hopefully this new company, and their new line-up will start from scratch, and not try to jam in the original continuity from their first run. Decades of convoluted, confusing, and even contradictory back-stories are one the main reasons it's so hard to get new readers into comic books. Why would anyone want to start reading something where they know they're not going to know what the hell is going on? A fresh new universe might attract fresh new readers, hopefully.

CONS:

1. Most of the Atlas Comics characters were considered either derivative of Marvel characters, if not outright rip-offs. The company also got criticized for changing around all their concepts and characters between issues, not good. While their back catalog is all well and good, they're going to need new creators with new ideas to make the company stand out among all the others.

2. The business of adapting comic book characters to movies is big business. However, it only really pays off in a serious way if those characters have some sort of the connection with the general cultural zeitgeist. I'm talking Batman, Superman, Spider-Man, with Iron Man showing that even characters on the relative fringe of that zeitgeist can still catch on. However, Atlas characters are way beyond the fringe that even Iron Man called home. Also that previously mentioned inconsistency with many of their characters can make things confusing for audiences unless they start over from scratch, as I suggested earlier.

3. The comics market is pretty harsh right now. The industry's having a hard time getting kids to read their books, having to compete with video games, the internet, and whatever pop-tart crap the Disney company is squatting out at the moment. Without kids, the overall readership will start to dwindle, if it hasn't started already, and the majors like DC and Marvel get most of, if not all, of their profits from movie and TV adaptations of their characters.

I wish the new Atlas Comics and the people working there lots of good luck, I like the idea of some fresh competition on the market, but they are going to have a tough time ahead of them.

Hollywood Babble On & On #594: Is It True? Is It A Lie? It's A True Lie!

Welcome to the show folks.

James Cameron is rapidly replacing Jeff Zucker and Harvey Weinstein as a source of material. When he's not loosing trial balloons about Avatar sequels and other flicks that will probably take another decade and a half to see the light of day, he's making a deal to adapt his 90s spy-caper/marital comedy True Lies into a TV series.

Let's look at the pros and cons of this plan:

PROS:

1. Rene Echevarria, the show-runner for the proposed series, is an experienced writer and producer with credits as far back as Star Trek: TNG, DS9, to his own show The 4400. I'm sure he has his detractors, everyone in Hollywood does, but I'm not going to judge him without giving him a shot.

2. With Cameron involved it will definitely have a lot of expensive production values.

CONS:

1. The formula of the spy balancing domestic life and espionage has been a little overdone lately. There's bound to be a saturation point.

2. Cameron has a spotty record with television. Namely his series Dark Angel, which had a big start, but rapidly fizzled, as if everyone involved lost interest, including the audience. This could easily happen again here.

3. Chemistry between the leads. One of the main reasons for the success of True Lies was the great chemistry between its stars Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jamie Lee Curtis. Both are 16 years older, and unlikely to commit to the grind of a action-oriented series. New leads will have to be found, and they have to somehow put lightning in a bottle the second time. That is very unlikely.

4. Sanitizing the characters. The husband character is a bit of a dick, when he's not boring her half to death by being emotionally and mentally absent, he's emotionally and mentally torturing her. It's a very sado-masochistic movie, and no doubt everything about them will have to be sanitized for a TV network. That mean turning them basically into every other TV spy done before.

That's why I'm not seeing much hope for this as a series.

What do you think?