I am sincerely hoping that this is all an elaborate April Fool's Joke. Really I am, because if it isn't then Hollywood in general and Universal Pictures have just filed for complete Creative Bankruptcy.
What I'm talking about are reports that Universal Pictures and Montecito Productions are developing a sequel to the 1988 comedy Twins. Now since 24 years have passed since the original movie was made I'll give you a quick recap. It was a buddy comedy starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito as Jules & Vincent, twin brothers created by a genetic experiment who are reunited and go on a road trip to find their birth mother, and wackiness ensues.
It was a cute inconsequential confection of a movie that had some laughs, especially with the novelty of Schwarzenegger and DeVito going around telling people that they're twins.
But I don't really think it's worthy of a sequel, at least not after the early 1990s when people still remembered it.
But that doesn't seem to be stopping Universal, because their plan is to add another brother to the experiment that created Jules and Vincent. The part of the extra sibling is being tailored for Eddie Murphy.
That's right, Universal wants to spend huge money to reunite the stars of a movie that will be at least 25 years old by the time shooting starts with a notoriously overpriced and difficult actor who is actually a negative with audiences.
The best box office performance Eddie Murphy has had in years was with Tower Heist, and that only a modest moneymaker and he was co-starring with a big ensemble cast including Ben Stiller and Matthew Broderick. Hell, co-star Alan Alda had a more positive contribution to that film's box office than Murphy. His last starring effort A Thousand Words did so poorly most theaters pulled it before the opening credits were finished.
And if this is an early April Fool's joke, then it's a cruel one, because right now poor Eddie Murphy's getting his hopes up that he's still a huge movie star that can do whatever he wants and have the studios cater to the every whim of himself and the members of his entourage.
If Eddie Murphy is going to salvage his career as a comic actor, he needs to have the studio rug pulled out from under him. He needs to hit bottom so he can learn that he has to climb his way back up bare-handed. He can't just coast on his golden days anymore, he has to work his ass off, because his golden days are getting farther away each day.
If it isn't a joke, then the people running Universal should gather all the staff together, tell them that the company is officially out of ideas, send everyone home, and lock the gates.