Tuesday, 11 March 2008

Hollywood Babble On & On #63: A Modest Proposal About Fame

I hope I speak for the majority when I say that I am sick and tired of tabloid media.

Hollywood went from a place where having talent, beauty, and charisma like Grace Kelly could make you famous to become a place where dressing trashy and appearing in a sex tape with a B-List rapper can land you your own TV series. (Yes, it is a cheap excuse to post a picture of Grace Kelly)

These bimbettes* have put Hollywood in the death spiral of a self-fulfilling idiocy.

The bimbettes lack any talent, charisma, or any of the aspirational appeal of real "stars" instead their careers are based on resentment. The only vehicles for these pseudo-celebs that sell are based on a sense of schadenfreude. Basically people buy these tabloids, magazines, and watch the entertainment "news" shows to watch the bimbettes self-destruct.

None of them can sell movie tickets, music, or regular television that doesn't involve their public debasement. So in order to keep getting work and not have to give up their dream of fame without achievement and end up working the counter at a Krispy Kreme in Mobile Alabama, they debase themselves even further.

This is where the self-fulfilling idiocy part comes in:

-Bimbettes do movies and music, but they don't sell because they're over-exposed. So to keep famous they engage in more bad behaviour.

-Bad behaviour sells more tabloids

-Tabloids pay more money for more humiliating pictures.

-The easy money leads to more paparazzi, both professional and amateur.

-The paparazzi end up causing more trouble with their aggressive tactics.

-The trouble caused by the paparazzi/bimbette interactions create more headlines
especially when it spills over into the lives of working actors and filmmakers.

-Headlines that sell more tabloids.

-The tabloids create more bimbette celebutards to sell more material and replace the ones that burn out and/or die.

So here is my proposal.

Stop buying celebrity tabloid crap.

Stop watching tabloid TV.

Stop visiting tabloid gossip web sites.

Stop buying the magazines at the grocery checkout line.

Do it for one year.

Let Hollywood reboot. Find some really talented and charismatic people to become stars.

Then maybe we can end this death spiral.
*I call them "bimbettes" because they lack any of the ditzy charm and humour needed to qualify as a bimbo.


  1. Uchuck the Tuchuck14/3/08 9:44 pm

    Just for the record, whe they turn on the "Hot-n-Now" sign at the Krispy Kreme on Governor's in Mobile, it is a sign of a loving and merciful God.

  2. My wife has said this before. It's not the bimbettes themselves, or the paparazzi, who are to blame--it's the stupid, envious, vicarious assholes who subscribe to the Star, the National Enquirer, and ESPECIALLY Life & Style (the most content-free magazine I have ever had the unfortunate "pleasure" to read).

    Hollywood will not get its shit back together until this audience goes away--and knowing what I know about human nature, there'll ALWAYS be at least ONE rotten, soulless bitch out there who's willing to buy a periodical containing embarrassing photographs of famous people. So the odds are that things won't improve.