The following is a Press Release from the Association of Motion Picture & Television Producers (AMPTP):
FROM: B.N. Counter President AMPTP
& Avrile Premiere, Director of Media Relations AMPTP.
For too long the membership of the Association of Motion Picture and Television Producers have engaged in shoddy business practises and engaged in outright fraud and theft by denying royalties to the hardworking artists who make movies and TV possible.
Well no more.
From now on we will engage in only honest and fair dealings. Our contracts and accounting practises will be made simpler and more transparent. And all our members will be putting their corporate books online so that anyone, can study our financial standings and see what royalties and residuals we may owe them.
We will also handle all contract negotiations in good faith and not use fine print as a license for fraud.
We will also order the immediate halt of all crappy remakes of classic movies, end reality TV, and have Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, and all other talentless media whores removed to an outpost in Antarctica.
We are also pledging over the combined bonuses of all studio and network CEOs to the formation of a new National Unicorn Preserve in the Malibu Hills.
Thank you.Sincerely- B.N. Counter.