Wednesday, 30 July 2008


If you are a rich person in show-business you need to answer these simple questions:

1. Do you have a legion of assistants, minions, and toadies who cater to your every whim?

2. Does the Hollywood press write fluffy puff pieces about how great you are?

3. Do people you don't even know kiss your ass for no reason?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, then you are in danger of becoming addicted to EGO-STROKING.

In the rarefied air of Hollywood EGO STROKING is more addictive than cocaine, heroin, meth, and chocolate combined.

And it's not only addictive, it's also dangerous.

Long term ego addiction can lead to:

1. Choosing to make films not based on commercial appeal or even quality, but by how many pats on the back it will get you at the country club.

2. Inability to detect the cognitive dissonance of taking a fleet of SUVs to a screening of
An Inconvenient Truth.

3. Thinking Beverly Hills, Hollywood and Malibu accurately represent how average people live.

4. Thinking that paying $400 for a men's haircut is a real bargain.

5. You only want something if it's stupidly overpriced.

6. Your company loses so much money through your bad business decisions that it cuts your annual bonus.

But don't worry, there is a way to beat Ego Stroking.

It's called:


for short.

For $250,000 a week you can enter my carefully structured 4 week program of deep aversion therapy and vicious ridicule that will completely tear you down, build you up again, and then tear you down for good, just so you know that we mean business.

When I and my staff of emotional sadists are through, no amount of ass kissing will make you think the sun shines out of there ever again.

Now some might ask why my program is so expensive.

2 reasons:

1. Because I'm

2. The moment when you leave my clinic and think: "I can't believe I spent a million bucks on that crap!" is the moment you are cured and have recovered your ability to not only think critically, but realize that deep down, no matter what people say, you are an idiot.

So call now: 1-800-555-FAKE and make an appointment.

Also feel free to send donations in small denomination, unmarked, non-sequential bills to:

Furious D Foundation For Profitable Abuse
c/o Banque De Laundrette Argent
227 Rue De Fictionale
Geneva, Switzerland

And if you are reaching for your phone or an envelope, you really do need my help.

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