Hollywood Babble On & On #237: Post Oscar Wrap-Up

The Oscars were held last night. I watched the Mythbusters bust moon-landing conspiracies instead, but I did get the list of winners and in my own snarky way will pass judgment on them.

—Motion Picture: "Slumdog Millionaire."

The only film not made for the Oscars actually won an Oscar. Bully for them I say in my more Teddy Roosevelt moments. Plus, it keeps yet another Oscar out of Harvey Weinstein's hands.

—Actor: Sean Penn, "Milk."

While honouring a film about life in the slums, the Academy did its part to keep Sean Penn out of the slums by giving him the only thing keeping his career alive. Without he'd have to rely on box-office appeal, and he's not going to get the decent money for that.

—Actress: Kate Winslet, "The Reader."

This is filed under "well d'uh," because it was a character the Academy would love, an unrepentant Nazi war criminal pederast who struggles to overcome illiteracy.

—Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger, "The Dark Knight."

While deserved, I have the sneaking suspicion that in an alternate universe where Ledger didn't die tragically young, it would have been snubbed by the Academy.

—Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz, "Vicky Cristina Barcelona."

And I have it on good authority that Academy voters did fill in the film's full name on the ballot, and not: "That flick where she makes out with Scarlett Johansson."

—Director: Danny Boyle, "Slumdog Millionaire."

Congrats. Been a Boyle fan since Trainspotting, and 28 Days Later.

—Foreign Film: "Departures," Japan.

Nothing to snark about here.

—Adapted Screenplay: Simon Beaufoy, "Slumdog Millionaire."

The brilliant strategy they used to win this award was to say that a vote for Slumdog Millionaire meant another Oscar that Harvey Weinstein couldn't claim as his own.

—Original Screenplay: Dustin Lance Black, "Milk."

I still like my version of the script better.
But the producers turned it down, because Sean Penn didn't want to wear the costume.

—Animated Feature Film: "WALL-E."

File this under "Well d'uh" even though the film has the rather major plot-hole of why the humans didn't just order their legions of robots to recycle their garbage before it built up so bad, and to send the unrecyclable stuff into space.

But it had heart, so I guess that makes up for it.

—Art Direction: "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button."

A consolation prize for Button, the film that had all sorts of nominations, despite very few people actually liking it.

—Cinematography: "Slumdog Millionaire."

—Sound Mixing: "Slumdog Millionaire."

Once again, bully for them.

—Sound Editing: "The Dark Knight."

A technical consolation prize for the most grievously snubbed film of the year.

—Original Score: "Slumdog Millionaire," A.R. Rahman.

—Original Song: "Jai Ho" from "Slumdog Millionaire," A.R. Rahman and Gulzar.

—Costume: "The Duchess."

At least it won an Oscar considering its entire theatrical run was over about twenty minutes before the first screening finished.

—Documentary Feature: "Man on Wire."

A new definition of riding high.

—Documentary (short subject): "Smile Pinki."

Pinki stops smiling when they realize that the short subject Oscar and $4.50 will get a mocha latte at the local Starbucks.

—Film Editing: "Slumdog Millionaire."

Most of Danny Boyle's films are well edited, so this shouldn't be a surprise.

—Makeup: "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button."

Make a star look young and attractive, get nothing, make them look old and crusty, win an Oscar.

—Animated Short Film: "La Maison en Petits Cubes."

You gotta love those little cubes. They're just so cubical.

—Live Action Short Film: "Spielzeugland (Toyland)."

I had to have my Spielzeu gland surgically removed, but did they make a movie out of that? Noooo!

—Visual Effects: "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button."

I was surprised that this won, because a lot of the effects were so seamless, a lot of people thought they were just make-up effects.
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Academy Award winners previously announced this season:

Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award (Oscar statuette): Jerry Lewis

Yes, he's an annoying old fart who doesn't know when to shut up, but he did raise a shitload of money for medical research. So let him have his moment.

Gordon E. Sawyer Award (Oscar statuette): Pixar Animation co-founder Ed Catmull

Congrats, I don't remember what the Sawyer Award is for, but if its for making truckloads of cash and dominating animation, then it's well deserved.