THEY'RE ALL OUT TO GET ME!!!
NBC-U CEO Jeff Zucker told Charlie Rose (the TV equivalent of Ambien) that he's been getting death threats over his recent shenanigans.
Well, since I'm the helpful sort, I've compiled a list of suspects they can investigate.
1. Conan O'Brien, natch.
2. Andy Richter, natch.
3. Pretty much the entire Tonight Show staff.
4. Shareholders in Comcast seeing their share value getting destroyed.
5. Comcast management in a case of extreme buyer's remorse.
6. Late night TV fans.
7. Jay Leno, for making him a whore.
8. Anyone who has seen the few NBC shows they liked canceled.
9. Everyone he ever got promoted over.
10. The people that promoted him.
Now the list does go on, and on, and on. So I thought I might also help by making up a list of people who want to keep Zucker alive, and in charge of NBC.
1. Rupert Murdoch
2. Les Moonves
3. Roger Ailes
4. David Letterman
5. Whoever's running ABC this week
6. The heads of the CW Network
7. Jay Leno, because NBC told him to (seems a bit two-faced)
8. The homeless guy who lives in the dumpster behind 30 Rock, because the voices tell him to. They also tell him that pants are optional in winter.
9. Some guy named Phil, who apparently likes The Biggest Loser.
10. Jeff Zucker's mother, but only because he owes her money
I HAVE A DREAMWORKS!
Dreamworks has finalized a deal with the family of Civil Rights pioneer Martin Luther King jr. for a biopic.
This is quite a feat in itself, considering how reticent the family's been to see their father portrayed on the silver screen. Dreamworks is all under a lot of pressure to do it right, and not hire Martin Scorsese to direct it, because he'll just cast Leonardo DiCaprio as King, and that would be just wrong.
Fox is sniffing around for a USA version of British sci-fi hit Torchwood, and has contracted creator Russel T. Davies to put it together, and might even bring over star John Barrowman for it.
For the uninitiated Torchwood is about a secret agency set in the same fictional universe as the long running Dr. Who series. It's led by the trisexual immortal time traveller Captain Jack Harkness, and its mission is to combat alien threats from their base in Cardiff. (Aliens being fond of eating the Welsh, who apparently go well with a little paprika.)
Now I say why not do a co-production. Fox and BBC can share costs, and locations, widening the scope of the show from one city, to the entire world. Something that could be done since the last Torchwood miniseries ended with everything being torn down forcing the lead to leave Cardiff to atone for the terrible things he did to save the world.
Plus, they could also bring in co-star Eve Myles, because I think she's cute in a Welsh kinda way.