Friday, 19 March 2010

Hollywood Babble On & On #473: A Rare Moment...

Welcome to the show folks...

Well over a year and a spell ago, inspired by reports of money troubles with the Capitol Films/ThinkFilm conglomeration run by David Bergstein, I wrote a piece called the 7 Stages of Corporate Grief. Well, recent reports show that I was wrong, there are in fact 8 Stages of Corporate Grief, and here they are:

1. AGGRAVATION: This starts out as rumors that it is getting increasingly hard to do business with the company in question. Especially in areas associated with money.

2. FRUSTRATION: Those rumors become official reports in the media, meaning that there is of a preponderance of evidence to make them libel proof.

3. UNIONIZATION: This is when things start getting official, with complaints and grievances formally filed with the labor unions. Those unions start flexing their muscles and demand that bills get paid forthwith, or the production will be shut down. Like what happened with Bergstein's production Nailed.

4. LITIGATION: This is when the investors and creditors start getting ants in their pants, and the dreaded lawyers get involved. When the lawsuits are filed, it's inevitable that there will be at least one nasty--

5. ALLEGATION: This is the new stage, and even though it burns me to admit a mistake, I won't admit I made a mistake, I just left something out. Now part of the whole litigation process is the plaintiff declaring that the defendant is guilty of a whole catalog of shenanigans. In the case of Capitol Films/ThinkFilm's David Bergstein, he's accused of using company money to cover his gambling markers, among other sins both mortal and venal. If these allegations have even the slightest scintilla of evidence to back them up, then the company is going to get hit with a big fat--

6. INVESTIGATION: All it takes is somebody at the IRS, the SEC, or any of the others in Washington's alphabet soup of regulators, or some plucky state's attorney to decide that a Hollywood scented pelt would look good on their trophy wall. If the company reaches this stage, then it's on the road to--

7. DEVASTATION: Once the lawyers, creditors, and regulators are done, there will be nothing left by the company's name, and a few battered assets sold off to pay off a small percentage of the debts left behind. Also those who ran that company end up facing not only lawsuits, but fines, tax liens, and possibly jail time if any evidence of wrongdoing is dug up.

8. SALVATION: This is the final stage where the CEO of the wrecked company finds Jesus and a new life anointing the sores of hobos with leprosy. Either that, or they talk some investors into letting them start another company, and the process starts all over again.

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