Friday, 13 August 2010

Hollywood Babble On & On #575: Dumb Dee Dumb Dumb

Welcome to the show folks...

Just when you thought you hit the bottom of Hollywood's Marianas Trench of stupid, someone starts digging.

The latest nostril nugget to grace the Kleenex of ideas is yet another
Terminator movie.

Now I've repeatedly stated that the whole franchise is hexed because of the three production companies that made
Terminator movies, NONE of them are around today. One is defunct (Hemdale) and two went bankrupt (Carolco, Halcyon).

But don't worry true believers, the folks setting themselves up for future penury say that this time will be different. This time the film will be PG-13, and.... drumroll.... ANIMATED!

These are the times I stop and wonder if I'm looking into some strange Bizarro world where reality is just something that happens to 'other people.'

The thing that sold the first Terminator film was that it was dark, violent, science fiction. It was definitely NOT a kid's movie, and that's why 12 year old me wanted to see so damn bad. Attempting to reboot it as some sort of semi-Disney franchise is beyond ludicrous, it's idiotic. The hard core geeks will avoid it, and badmouth it on the internet regularly. Then there are the parents who remember the nightclub massacres, the hearts being ripped out, the douchebags tossed through walls, and the skin getting blasted of Ah-Nuld's face, and they'll take their kids to see the latest Disney pop-tart instead.

And to top it all off, the people making the film will probably end up spending too much on it, and go belly up like all the others.

So please, let the glowing red eye fade to black as it should have years ago. If you don't want to do for the sake of good taste, then do it for your own solvency.

UPDATE: Pacificor, who got the leftovers from Halcyon's bankruptcy, sent a cease and desist letter to Hannover House Productions the people behind the proposed animated movie, claiming they can't do it, because they don't own it.

Eric Parkinson of Hannover House, claims that he was given the animation rights when his former employer Hemdale Pictures took a dirt nap. Pacificor says nay nay, and are threatening to unleash the Kraken of litigation.

You see, the franchise really is cursed.


  1. jepressman@gmail.com14/8/10 4:05 am

    Hollywood strategy:shape a once interesting franchise ,ie; the Terminator,then remove the human actors ,then make the new Terminator an animated version.Goal?Money and money. The studio wouldn't be doing this if it didn't have to deal with pricey,human actors. Instead the studio will make this unecessary animated feature with a pricey big budget animation. Now isn't that better? Once upon a time the Terminator concept was fresh and was exciting because of Linda Hamilton and Schwartzenegger. That worked out well,didn't it? Stop cannibalizing past work and support new ideas.

  2. Terminator COULD work as an animated film IF they went totally hardcore and did in anime style , pushing the boundaries like some of the best (and worst) anime movies out there. You watch something like Perfect Blue or Ninja Scroll and you realize that Terminator could work in that format... but not as a PG-13. It's supposed to be horrifying. (though T4 wasn't that bad until they wussed out on the ending)

  3. I'd rather see Bethesda get the VG rights back and make some more kick ass terminator games.