Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Dear David Simon


Dear Mr. Simon.

Can I call you David, Dave, Davy Crockett: King of the Wild Frontier?

Okay, Mr. Simon it is.

I heard you just won a $500,000 MacArthur Foundation Genius Grant.


You've done brilliant and groundbreaking work in TV, and that's all well and good, but I'm sure you are weighed down with liberal guilt over getting the money when so many are suffering through these tough economic times.

And let's not forget the taxes, Uncle Sam's going to take his piece of that money, and with it a good sized chunk of your hide.

So here's what you need to do with that money.

Give it away.

I'm not talking about giving it away to just any charity. I'm talking about giving it to a specific charity, one guaranteed to help someone in need.

I'm talking about:
Sure you could give the $500,000 to some celebrity endorsed charity, and maybe 1.2% of that money might actually end up helping someone who isn't already rich, if you're lucky. Or you can just send the money to ME, and I can guarantee that 100% of that $500,000 will go toward getting a poor person, namely ME, the lavish, luxurious and decadent lifestyle I wish to become accustomed to.

So get that check cashed, then pack a box with small unmarked bills, and send that package to ME. Just drop me a line, and I'll send you the address.

Then tell all your Hollywood friends to give too.

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