Monday, 17 January 2011

Hollywood Babble On & On #660: These Are The Golden Globes We're Talking About Here!

Welcome to the show folks...

I broke one of my own rules last night and actually watched some of the Golden Globes.

I didn't watch the whole thing, mind you, my sanity couldn't have survived the full dose, but I did watch over an hour and a half of the annual boondoggle. Ample time to ogle Sofia Vergara's cleavage, whenever she was on camera, and post the occasional snark on Twitter, and to hear host Ricky Gervais lob a few torpedoes at the various sacred cows that circled him.

Now folks are all over complaining that Gervais "went too far," that he was "too mean" and his "cheap shots" hurt the integrity of the Golden Globes.

Holy freaking shit on a shingle, I'm surprised the whole internet didn't explode from the use of the words "integrity" and "Golden Globes" in the same sentence. Since most of you chose not to watch it, here's a taste of what he said during the show:

Oooh.... dangerous.

So freaking what.

The Golden Globes is supposed to be a social night out, where people would get drunk, pass out awards that don't mean anything, rag on each other, pass out themselves, and otherwise have a good time.

It wasn't meant to be taken seriously. How can you take an awards show where all the awards are selected by a tiny, secretive, clique of journalists for foreign newspapers who are easily swayed, convinced, and sometimes even bribed to vote for movies regardless of quality.

However, it's been around a long time, and like whores and politicians, awards shows, no matter how morally and artistically bankrupt, eventually become respectable with age. Then there's its status as a "predictor" of the Oscars. That status is very similar to the old cliche about a broken clock being right at least twice a day.

The Golden Globes are a joke, the fact that Gervais treated them as such has shocked self-important Hollywood to its core. They are so long used to mindless worship and unquestioning adoration, no matter how asinine they act, they can't seem to take it when someone calls them on it.

That also shows that not only is Hollywood smug and self-important, it's also nutless.

It reminds me about the time Chris Rock hosted the Oscars, and made a rather weak joke about Jude Law being in everything. Sean Penn came out to present an award, and promptly went into an angry righteous defense of Jude Law. It only succeeded in making Penn look like a humorless self-righteous asshole who can't recognize that comedians tell jokes and that the best way to get back at what you think of as a mean zinger, is to zing back.

All Penn had to do was remark that Rock, as the man responsible for the classic
Pootie Tang, really shouldn't criticize anyone's movie work.

In reaction to Gervais Hollywood has turned into Sean Penn.

Why didn't some people zing back beyond the tepid little "stop hurting our feelings" shot made by Tom Hanks and Tim Allen?

They could have talked about how he's been coasting off The Office for the last 10 years, how his movie career has dropped bigger bombs than Curtis LeMay, and how his box office record is so bad he doesn't even rate his own Box Office Mojo page.

That's what old Hollywood would have done. Someone would have fired back, big time, and if the show degenerated into a zing-flinging war, then maybe the goddamn thing would have been worth watching all the way through.

But Hollywood didn't. Instead, they whined, and got their pet poodles in the media to cry along with them.

Gervais showed actual courage. Hollywood is his biggest fan right now, and his appeal within the Hollywood community is the only reason he's still making and starring in his own films instead of scrabbling for supporting roles, or to get another sitcom on the air. If they decide to backlash against him, with his weak performance at the box office, his career could take a hit.

But then again, maybe he's got enough from licensing the remake rights to The Office to every country from Albania to Zambia to not worry about what Hollywood could do to his career.

Anyway Hollywood needs to grow a pair and learn to take it as well as they can dish it out.

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