Friday 21 January 2011

Hollywood Babble On & On #663: Random Snark Attack!!

Welcome to the show folks....

I'm in a snarky mood today, so leaven my nastiness and sarcasm (AKA "sarcastiness" or "nastasm"), I'm going to post pictures of current
Doctor Who companion Karen Gillan.

RED STATE ON THE BLOCK

Kevin Smith is out to sell his indie horror film
Red State at the Sundance, and he's hosting a real life auction to sell the rights to the movie.

I think it's a great idea. The people at the auction, Hollywood suits, are the film's target audience, and they're the only Americans willing to pay to see a movie that all advanced buzz says is designed solely to insult a large chunk of the American populace. They'll buy the film, watch it fail miserably at the box office, and pat themselves and Mr. Smith on the back for their "courage," forget all about the string of stinkers he's been dropping lately, and sign to make a bunch more movies.

It's not their money being wasted, so it's a win-win for all involved.

Another interesting twist is that five years in the future the film will be the subject of another auction when the storage locker the unsold DVDs and unscreened prints goes into default and ends getting sold.

Now some Karen...

Like a red-headed ray of sunshine.

GEORGE CLOONEY GOT SICK & IT WASN'T AN STD

George Clooney contracted malaria, but he's all better now. He tried an unconventional cure, he announced to his own bloodstream that he was going to watch every movie he's ever made, and the malarial parasites fled from his body en masse.

Come on down Karen...
Thank you.

FACEBOOK NOT MAKING THE FACEBUCKS?

This report says that Facebook's ads aren't worth the price, because Facebook users don't click them.

But the company will be fine, they're making more than enough money selling your private personal information to everyone from market researchers to the mafia.


ZUCKER SAYS GOODBYE

With the Comcast-NBCU merger finally approved Jeff Zucker is finally leaving, and he put out a farewell memo to senior NBCU staff.

The staff sent a response memo, it read: "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out."

And one more photo of Karen Gillan...
This idea was a hell of a lot better than posting another picture of Jeff Zucker.

5 comments:

  1. Red State sounds like you typical hollywood liberal whine fest movie.
    He has a lot to whine about, Obama is not the magical messiah they wished he was, the population has by and large turned on him and his political party.

    Now with the DEMS getting shellacked in the Nov 2010 elections, It appears many execs in this tough economy do not want to even throw money at a film that further insults the very people that are pissed at them.

    The film itself just looks like the type of crap I do not want to spend $12 USD on a ticket to go see. Come think of it there has not been really any movie I wanted to go see in the theatre in a long time.

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  2. Auction must had flopped because Smith is now going to self distribute the film roadshow style.

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  3. Blast Hardcheese24/1/11 12:18 pm

    From reports of the proceedings, the whole thing was a setup. Smith never intended to auction to distributors; instead, right at the beginning he 'sold himself' the rights to distribute for $20. He then proceeded to tell the gathered distributors how broken their system was for a good 20-30 minutes.

    Nothing but a big publicity stunt. For Smith's sake, I hope the roadshow idea works out, because it's unlikely they'll ever give him the time of day. If I had been one of the distributors in that audience, I would have been pretty PO'd.

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  4. Doing it on his own as a roadshow will probably be the best move for Smith. The film's premise is box office poison, hence no distributor would be willing to put out the money to give it a serious theatrical release.

    However, do it as a roadshow, making sure those Westboro shit-heels make every screening to scream and prance for the news cameras will remake Smith from a guy with a string of flops into a Hollywood hero. It'll also turn the film from a bomb into a "heroic failure" that "spoke truth to power" even though the Westboro folks are essentially powerless and cowardly to boot.

    Remember, they ran away from protesting that little girl's funeral, because people threatened them. While waving signs at Sundance is a hell of a lot safer for them.

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  5. Blast Hardcheese24/1/11 5:54 pm

    The roadshow is very probably his only option, now. Apparently the distributors who showed up to bid on his work were less than amused:

    http://www.deadline.com/2011/01/sundance-watching-kevin-smith-implode/

    I know that if I was a businessman in that audience, I'd never trust Smith again with one dime of my money.

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