Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Hollywood Babble On & On #726: Random Snark Attack

Not much business news for me to harp on at the moment, so I'm just going to dump a hell of a lot of snarkasm at people way richer than me!

Let the fun begin!

1. Arnold Schwarzenegger has separated from his wife Maria Shriver after 25 years. The cause for the split was him impregnating one of the family's maids.

But that's not the shocking part.

The part that has shocked Californians are reports that the maid in question was a legal US Citizen.

What pissed Maria Shriver off the most was that her husband was acting like a Kennedy.

In a related story Schwarzenegger's planned
Terminator comeback project will now be retitled The Sperminator.

2. Seth MacFarlane has been contracted by Warner Bros. to do a reboot of the venerable cartoon
The Flintstones. I can now present to you an excerpt from every script of the upcoming rebooted Flintstones.
FRED: Hey Barney, this reminds me of the time I... (Insert Random Visual Gag Here)
3. Actor/Raconteur/Race & Marital Relations Expert Mel Gibson got a standing ovation at a screening of The Beaver at the Cannes Film Festival.

Oh those wacky French and their love of Anti-Semites.

4. The Fox Network canceled
The Chicago Code to make room for Stephen Spielberg's time-travel/dinosaur soap Terra Nova. That's technically incorrect. To be more accurate: Fox canceled The Chicago Code to make room for the show that will be on after Terra Nova gets canceled.

5. Recently Twitter suggested that I follow the US Secret Service, and I had to ask:

A) Why are they on Twitter, aren't they supposed to be secret?

B) Isn't it their job to follow


Who could that be?

Oh, it's the US Secret Service, and they have a gift for me. Sweet! It's an all expense paid vacation at a resort called Guantanamo Bay. Sounds like a sexy Club Med kinda place.

Why is my ticket one way?

What's with the tasers?



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