The major US Networks have set their schedules for the upcoming Fall TV season, and I've got their complete Fall TV line-ups peppered with my own brand of snark.
8/7c The Sing-Off
10 pm THE PLAYBOY CLUB- NBC is hoping to catch that Mad Men vibe with this show set at Chicago's premiere Playboy Club in the early 1960s. The problem is that d
espite the critical praise and awards, Mad Men doesn't get the audience that would make it a viable network show. A nudity clause in the contracts got up the kilt of the Parent's Television Council, which pretty much ensured that the show would be picked up. Furthering my theory that the PTC is really just a scam set up by publicists.
TUESDAY
8 pm The Biggest Loser
10 pm Parenthood
WEDNESDAY
8 pm UP ALL NIGHT - Will make you want to go to bed early. Just kidding, I don't know anything about this show, and probably never will.
8:30 pm FREE AGENTS- Feh agents.
9 pm Harry’s Law [new time slot]- There's a show called Harry's Law?
10 pm Law & Order: Special Victims Unit- Last Law & Order standing. Used to be a fan, but have long since drifted away.
THURSDAY
8 pm Community - Best comedy on TV. If you are not watching it, you sir, are a PUSILLANIMOUS POLTROON!
8:30 pm Parks and Recreation [new-ish time slot]
9 pm The Office- Will get a new boss, and probably canceled, because audiences don't like change.
9:30 pm WHITNEY- A sitcom centering on a comedian best known for the Comedy Central Roasts. Will she sell in the censored environs of network TV? Don't know, don't really care.
10 pm PRIME SUSPECT- Wow, a cop show about a tough no-nonsense policewoman who cracks the cases her male counterparts can't. I've never seen that premise before.
FRIDAY
8 pm Chuck [new time slot]
9 pm GRIMM- Basically a rip off of the comic book Fables, but without the imagination, that's about a cop who fights fairy tale monsters. The outlook for this show is grim with one "m."
10 pm Dateline NBC
SATURDAY
Repeats “Encore programming”
SUNDAY
7 pm Football Night in America
8:15 pm NBC Sunday Night Football
MONDAY
8/7c Dancing with the Stars
10 pm Castle
TUESDAY
8 pm LAST MAN STANDING- Feh.
8:30 pm MAN UP- If you have to be told to man up, it's already too late.
9 pm Dancing with the Stars Results Show
10 pm Body of Proof
WEDNESDAY
8 pm The Middle
8:30 pm SUBURGATORY - Comedy about wacky suburbanites. Probably feel like purgatory to the audience.
9 pm Modern Family
9:30 pm Happy Endings [new time slot]
10 pm REVENGE- This will be the network's revenge on the audience.
THURSDAY
8 pm CHARLIE’S ANGELS-
9 pm Grey’s Anatomy
10 pm Private Practice
FRIDAY
8 pm Extreme Makeover: Home Edition [new time slot]
9 pm Shark Tank [new time slot]
10 pm 20/20
SATURDAY
8 pm Saturday Night College Football
SUNDAY
7 pm America’s Funniest Home Videos
8 pm ONCE UPON A TIME - Another Fables rip-off.
9 pm Desperate Housewives
10 pm PAN AM - Another Mad Men rip-off, this set in the then sexy world of air travel, with sexy stewardesses, and sexy pilots on sexy planes flying to sexy places to do sexy things with other sexy people, then a sexy commercial break for a sexy ad for Depends.
MONDAY
8/7c TERRA NOVA- Fox canceled The Chicago Code to make room for this landlocked version of SeaQuest DSV with Dinosaurs. The only reason it will last more than one season will be Fox's desperation to make something back from the gazillions spent on making the show.
9 pm House
TUESDAY
8 pm Glee
9 pm NEW GIRL- Completely dependent on the charms of star Zooey Deschanel, which are considerable, and go beyond her physical beauty. The audience needs to love her somewhat naive and spazzy character, and the show has to make them love her without being too preciously cutesy.
9:30 pm Raising Hope
WEDNESDAY
8-9:30 pm THE X FACTOR- Simon Cowell returns to make shitloads more money. Warm up your vocal chords nut-jobs, you have another shot to be the next guy like that one who did "She Bangs" so badly he got a full 14 minutes of fame.
9:30 pm I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER - I hate this show and I haven't even seen it yet.
THURSDAY
8 pm THE X FACTOR (Results Show)- The results of a show I don't really care about. I'll be watching Community, and you should be too.
9 pm Bones
FRIDAY
8 pm Kitchen Nightmares
9 pm Fringe
SATURDAY
8 pm Cops
9 pm Encores/America’s Most Wanted (Specials)
SUNDAY
7:30 pm The Cleveland Show
8 pm The Simpsons
8:30 pm ALLEN GREGORY- New animated show about some sort of genius child who I assume gets his intellect and ambition crushed by the dysfunctional American public school system.
9 pm Family Guy
9:30 pm American Dad
MONDAY
8/7c How I Met Your Mother
8:30 pm: 2 BROKE GIRLS- If it's a show about wacky single life in New York city I'll be shocked, because that's never been done before.
9 pm: Two and a Half Men- Sans Sheen, avec Kutcher, sans me watching it.
9:30 pm: Mike & Molly
10 pm Hawaii Five-0
TUESDAY
8 pm NCIS
9 pm NCIS: LA
10 pm UNFORGETTABLE- Probably mis-titled.
WEDNESDAY
8 pm Survivor
9 pm Criminal Minds
10 pm CSI [new time slot]
THURSDAY
8 pm The Big Bang Theory
8:30 pm HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN- How to be a show I'll probably not watch.
9 pm PERSON OF INTEREST- New show from the JJ Abrams empire. Will no doubt plop a lot of mysteries on the audience, then never answer them, and call anyone who calls bullshit on it stupid for not "getting it."
10 pm The Mentalist
FRIDAY
8 pm A GIFTED MAN- I read a report that said it's about a surgeon who gets advice from the ghost of his dead wife. If they're not solving mysteries by mid-season the show will collapse with viewers.
9 pm CSI: NY
10 pm Blue Bloods
SATURDAY
8 pm Rules of Engagement [new time slot]
8:30 pm Comedy Encores
9 pm Drama Encores
10 pm 48 Hours Mystery
SUNDAY
7 pm 60 Minutes
8 pm The Amazing Race
9 pm The Good Wife [new time slot]
10 pm CSI: Miami
MONDAY
8 pm Gossip Girl [new time slot]
9 pm HART OF DIXIE- If this isn't a southern-fried reboot of Hart To Hart, I will disappointed, because Robert Wagner needs the work.
TUESDAY
8 pm 90210 [new time slot]
9 pm RINGER- Sarah Michelle Gellar is back on TV. Hope it's as good as Buffy, and can get beyond the very narrow, "can she get away with it," premise.
WEDNESDAY
8 pm H8R- Celebrities get to meet the people who don't like them. Never has uncomfortable silences been so compelling.
9 pm America’s Next Top Model
THURSDAY
8 pm The Vampire Diaries
9 pm THE SECRET CIRCLE- Vampire Diaries with witches.
FRIDAY
8 pm Nikita [new time slot] - The American TV remake of the Canadian TV remake of the American movie remake of the French film gets a second season. Just its origins are confusing.
9 pm Supernatural
NBC
MONDAY8/7c The Sing-Off
10 pm THE PLAYBOY CLUB- NBC is hoping to catch that Mad Men vibe with this show set at Chicago's premiere Playboy Club in the early 1960s. The problem is that d
espite the critical praise and awards, Mad Men doesn't get the audience that would make it a viable network show. A nudity clause in the contracts got up the kilt of the Parent's Television Council, which pretty much ensured that the show would be picked up. Furthering my theory that the PTC is really just a scam set up by publicists.TUESDAY
8 pm The Biggest Loser
10 pm Parenthood
WEDNESDAY
8 pm UP ALL NIGHT - Will make you want to go to bed early. Just kidding, I don't know anything about this show, and probably never will.
8:30 pm FREE AGENTS- Feh agents.
9 pm Harry’s Law [new time slot]- There's a show called Harry's Law?
10 pm Law & Order: Special Victims Unit- Last Law & Order standing. Used to be a fan, but have long since drifted away.
THURSDAY
8 pm Community - Best comedy on TV. If you are not watching it, you sir, are a PUSILLANIMOUS POLTROON!
8:30 pm Parks and Recreation [new-ish time slot]
9 pm The Office- Will get a new boss, and probably canceled, because audiences don't like change.
9:30 pm WHITNEY- A sitcom centering on a comedian best known for the Comedy Central Roasts. Will she sell in the censored environs of network TV? Don't know, don't really care.
10 pm PRIME SUSPECT- Wow, a cop show about a tough no-nonsense policewoman who cracks the cases her male counterparts can't. I've never seen that premise before.
FRIDAY
8 pm Chuck [new time slot]
9 pm GRIMM- Basically a rip off of the comic book Fables, but without the imagination, that's about a cop who fights fairy tale monsters. The outlook for this show is grim with one "m."
10 pm Dateline NBC
SATURDAY
Repeats “Encore programming”
SUNDAY
7 pm Football Night in America
8:15 pm NBC Sunday Night Football
ABC
MONDAY
8/7c Dancing with the Stars
10 pm Castle
TUESDAY
8 pm LAST MAN STANDING- Feh.
8:30 pm MAN UP- If you have to be told to man up, it's already too late.
9 pm Dancing with the Stars Results Show
10 pm Body of Proof
WEDNESDAY
8 pm The Middle
8:30 pm SUBURGATORY - Comedy about wacky suburbanites. Probably feel like purgatory to the audience.
9 pm Modern Family
9:30 pm Happy Endings [new time slot]
10 pm REVENGE- This will be the network's revenge on the audience.
THURSDAY
8 pm CHARLIE’S ANGELS-
9 pm Grey’s Anatomy
10 pm Private Practice
FRIDAY
8 pm Extreme Makeover: Home Edition [new time slot]
9 pm Shark Tank [new time slot]
10 pm 20/20
SATURDAY
8 pm Saturday Night College Football
SUNDAY
7 pm America’s Funniest Home Videos
8 pm ONCE UPON A TIME - Another Fables rip-off.
9 pm Desperate Housewives
10 pm PAN AM - Another Mad Men rip-off, this set in the then sexy world of air travel, with sexy stewardesses, and sexy pilots on sexy planes flying to sexy places to do sexy things with other sexy people, then a sexy commercial break for a sexy ad for Depends.
FOX
MONDAY
8/7c TERRA NOVA- Fox canceled The Chicago Code to make room for this landlocked version of SeaQuest DSV with Dinosaurs. The only reason it will last more than one season will be Fox's desperation to make something back from the gazillions spent on making the show.
9 pm House
TUESDAY
8 pm Glee
9 pm NEW GIRL- Completely dependent on the charms of star Zooey Deschanel, which are considerable, and go beyond her physical beauty. The audience needs to love her somewhat naive and spazzy character, and the show has to make them love her without being too preciously cutesy.
9:30 pm Raising Hope
WEDNESDAY
8-9:30 pm THE X FACTOR- Simon Cowell returns to make shitloads more money. Warm up your vocal chords nut-jobs, you have another shot to be the next guy like that one who did "She Bangs" so badly he got a full 14 minutes of fame.
9:30 pm I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER - I hate this show and I haven't even seen it yet.
THURSDAY
8 pm THE X FACTOR (Results Show)- The results of a show I don't really care about. I'll be watching Community, and you should be too.
9 pm Bones
FRIDAY
8 pm Kitchen Nightmares
9 pm Fringe
SATURDAY
8 pm Cops
9 pm Encores/America’s Most Wanted (Specials)
SUNDAY
7:30 pm The Cleveland Show
8 pm The Simpsons
8:30 pm ALLEN GREGORY- New animated show about some sort of genius child who I assume gets his intellect and ambition crushed by the dysfunctional American public school system.
9 pm Family Guy
9:30 pm American Dad
CBS
MONDAY
8/7c How I Met Your Mother
8:30 pm: 2 BROKE GIRLS- If it's a show about wacky single life in New York city I'll be shocked, because that's never been done before.
9 pm: Two and a Half Men- Sans Sheen, avec Kutcher, sans me watching it.
9:30 pm: Mike & Molly
10 pm Hawaii Five-0
TUESDAY
8 pm NCIS
9 pm NCIS: LA
10 pm UNFORGETTABLE- Probably mis-titled.
WEDNESDAY
8 pm Survivor
9 pm Criminal Minds
10 pm CSI [new time slot]
THURSDAY
8 pm The Big Bang Theory
8:30 pm HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN- How to be a show I'll probably not watch.
9 pm PERSON OF INTEREST- New show from the JJ Abrams empire. Will no doubt plop a lot of mysteries on the audience, then never answer them, and call anyone who calls bullshit on it stupid for not "getting it."
10 pm The Mentalist
FRIDAY
8 pm A GIFTED MAN- I read a report that said it's about a surgeon who gets advice from the ghost of his dead wife. If they're not solving mysteries by mid-season the show will collapse with viewers.
9 pm CSI: NY
10 pm Blue Bloods
SATURDAY
8 pm Rules of Engagement [new time slot]
8:30 pm Comedy Encores
9 pm Drama Encores
10 pm 48 Hours Mystery
SUNDAY
7 pm 60 Minutes
8 pm The Amazing Race
9 pm The Good Wife [new time slot]
10 pm CSI: Miami
The CW
MONDAY
8 pm Gossip Girl [new time slot]
9 pm HART OF DIXIE- If this isn't a southern-fried reboot of Hart To Hart, I will disappointed, because Robert Wagner needs the work.
TUESDAY
8 pm 90210 [new time slot]
9 pm RINGER- Sarah Michelle Gellar is back on TV. Hope it's as good as Buffy, and can get beyond the very narrow, "can she get away with it," premise.
WEDNESDAY
8 pm H8R- Celebrities get to meet the people who don't like them. Never has uncomfortable silences been so compelling.
9 pm America’s Next Top Model
THURSDAY
8 pm The Vampire Diaries
9 pm THE SECRET CIRCLE- Vampire Diaries with witches.
FRIDAY
8 pm Nikita [new time slot] - The American TV remake of the Canadian TV remake of the American movie remake of the French film gets a second season. Just its origins are confusing.
9 pm Supernatural
Dirty McDingus Sezs:
ReplyDeleteDidn't 'Supernatural' wrap up all the overall stories last year? With the indifferent "God" not giving two shanks of a care about the goings on down below? It's still going? With new cast members? Because the overall tale of the brothers are complete last year!
Also; Damn fox for killing good shows like 'the Chicago Code' and others.. 'Firefly' included! 'The X-Files' had poor ratings in the first season (and SECOND) but they kept it til it exploded during the third! Now they're killing shows halfway through the First season now?!!!
Every time I enjoy a show~~~ those Bastards!!
Actually, do check out the original "Prime Suspect". It was a BBC miniseries with Helen Mirren (rowr) and more of a character study rather than your bog-standard police procedural.
ReplyDeleteDidn't 'Supernatural' wrap up all the overall stories last year? With the indifferent "God" not giving two shanks of a care about the goings on down below? It's still going? With new cast members? Because the overall tale of the brothers are complete last year!
ReplyDelete*Takes a deep breath...*
As you can tell from my blog, I'm a big fan.
The same cast continued and they floundered around last season before finally settling on a decent "enough" storyline. Season 7 will really determine whether anything post Kripke is worth watching or not (currently? I advise ending 5 seconds before season 5's last episode)