ABC has cancelled it's freshman cross-dressing comedy
Bosom Buddies Work It, after just two airings. Who could have possibly seen that this show was going to be an unmitigated disaster? Turns out EVERYONE.
But in the spirit of being magnanimous, I'm going to help the ABC Network, out of the goodness of my flinty little heart, with sitcom premise ideas that are better than Work It.
1. THICKE & THINN. Two single girls, one is anorexic (Sadie Thicke), and the other is obese (Beulah Thinn), work as jingle writers for a Madison Avenue ad agency, and look for love in New York City.
2. CARSON THE ARSON PARSON. A well meaning minister name Carson dispenses advice to his flock while fighting his urge for sexual release through starting racially motivated fires.
3. ARE YOU THERE HEROIN? IT'S ME COURTNEY. A wacky family hour comedy about the wacky drug fueled antics of young Courtney Love.
4. LUNGERS' LANE. A heartwarming comedy about a group of optimistic tuberculosis patients quarantined in a sanatorium in the 1870s.... with sexy results.
5. FLEAS COMPANY! Two slobby single men are having no luck with love, until they start listening to the advice from the sentient fleas that live in their furniture... with sexy results.
6. THE GOLDEN GHOULS. A group of seniors in Miami discover the fountain of youth, eating the flesh of young people... with sexy results.
7. BOB & THE DEAD HOBO. Bob Bederbecker is an ordinary family man, but every week a series of wacky coincidences will leave the body of a dead hobo in his bed, and he's got to get rid of it before someone finds it and accuses him of murder... with sexy results.
8. MRS. KRAVITZ & HATCHET HARRY. She's a nosy neighbor living next door to a sadistic serial killer, wackiness ensues!
9. BEST TWEAK EVER! The lives and loves of happy go lucky methamphetamine addicts trying to keep their addictions fed... with sexy results.
10. FREAKS & FREAKS. Two clans of circus freaks are seemingly trapped in an endless feud, until the Lobster Girl from one family finds love with the Dog-Faced Boy of another... with sexy results.
If you have any pitches for sitcoms that would have been better than Work It, leave them in the comments so I can steal them and sell them to the idiots at ABC for MILLIONS! BWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!