Wednesday, 3 October 2012

Trailer Trashing: The Lone Ranger

Here's the first trailer for Disney's epic $200+ million it better be a mega-blockbuster The Lone Ranger starring Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer.

Take a look and I'll let you know what I think...

UPDATE: Disney is blocking sites from embedding the video and will only let you watch it at the main YouTube site.

Now I thought the reason you released a trailer on YouTube was to get it all over the world as quickly as possible.  That is unless you fear the overpriced film will be a John Carter sized dud and seek to control commentary around it.

At least that's my theory.  Go on scroll past the black box Disney left us for my thoughts on the trailer.

First impressions:

1. Damn they spent a shit-load of money on this movie. Cash is literally dribbling down the walls. Why have ten extras in a scene when you can have ten thousand.

2. The Lone Ranger really doesn't seem to matter all that much in this movie. There's no excitement associated with him. There's no build up to his appearance, he's just a guy who happens to be wearing a mask that just happens to show up to hang out with Johnny Depp. 

He's a nonentity in his own movie. I don't know if this is from a lack of charisma on the part of the box of baking soda they cast in the title role, director Gore Verbinski's marked preference for Johnny Depp, or just bad editing at the Disney/Bruckheimer trailer department.

3. Meanwhile Johnny Depp appears to be in some sort of fantasy film, and not a Western action-adventure.

4. There is a very good chance that Verbinski, Depp, and Bruckheimer are going to literally price themselves out of the business if they can't control the high costs that follow them everywhere they go.

Overall the feeling I get from this trailer can be described with the word "Feh."

That's what I think, tell me what you think in the comments.


  1. The video says that Disney's blocking it on copyright grounds



    It feels like Depp isn't playing the title role only because Alice in Wonderland made money.

  3. Well, I went to see it at 'youtube' and it was so forgettable I am not sure I can really comment on it.

    It is kind of one of those things that just fade from your mind in seconds.

    What I do remember is really bad makeup on Depp and a big chunk of something with a mask next to him.

    I want to see the werewolves.

    Rainforest Giant.

  4. Blast Hardcheese3/10/12 7:36 pm

    Oh look, a lot of swoopy CG camera bullcrud. Oh wow, a train sliding on its side, bet that was expensive. Oh gee, Johnny Depp doing the Most Stereotypical Tonto Voice I'VE EVER HEARD-

    Ahem. Sorry about that. Well, between this and John Carter I think Disney is trying to set some kind of record for wasting money.

    And poor Arnie Hammer...he's not a bad actor (I actually liked him in J.Edgar) but he's not what you would call larger than life. They need a Russell-Crowe-type persona.

  5. Lone Ranger being an non entity in his own movie. That is no encouraging at all.

  6. This whole project is a stupendously bad idea.

    Something I've been wondering since I first saw the casting news: Where's the media outcry over a white man playing Tonto?

  7. Helen- Depp believes he's part Native American, and no one has bothered to fact-check it.

  8. So his aunt plagerized 'Carribbean Crabcakes' or some such for 'pow wow chow' cook book?

    Rainforest Giant