Monday, 6 May 2013

Hollywood Babble On & On #1016: Iron Man/Golden Boy

Iron Man 3 is doing gangbuster business all over the world, cementing Robert Downey jr. as the King of the Marvel Movie Universe, and guess what...

                                                                                              ...his contract is up.

When Marvel signed him up to play Tony Stark/Iron Man back in 2007 he signed up for a set number of films, and bonuses based on their performance at the box office. He reportedly cleared $50 million from The Avengers, and may do that again with Iron Man 3, and you can't say that he didn't earn every penny, not only for starring in the movies, but for doing a gruelling schedule of promotional appearances all over the world that would kill a lesser man. Well now he's done, and Marvel is going to have to negotiate a new contract with him.

Here are some of the things they're going to offer Robert Downey jr.

1. A house made entirely of gold. Not just a one story ranch, but a two story cape cod.

2. A full money bin where Downey can swim in piles of cash a la Scrooge McDuck.

3. A cloned dinosaur. A triceratops that he can ride.

4. A talking sloth named Mr. Binkles.

5. A fully functioning time machine, so he can find out what the hell happened to him in the 1980s and 1990s.

6. His own private island in Hawaii, called Oahu.

7. Stephen Fry to act as his butler for LIFE.

8. The NASA space program.

9. An all-chimp dance troupe.

10. The studio will admit there's such a thing as a "net profit."
[Funny story, way back when Iron Man was in development I said in a forum that Robert Downey jr. was the only actor for Tony Stark, and I was told I was crazy. 
Who is crazy now?]


  1. I am waiting for him to say, "I'm a lead farmer, mutha f*cker," as Ironman. Although I don't think Marvel would approve.

    Rainforest Giant

  2. Look for Iron man 4 with a different actor as Tony Stark.

    Jack Black, maybe.

    But seriously, likely they'll reboot the entire Marvel thing and start over with Ant Man and the Silver Surfer.

  3. Sandy Petersen9/5/13 4:10 pm

    You are still crazy, D.Even if you were right about Tony Stark (which I am only partly prepared to admit) this does not make you less insane.