Wednesday, 12 June 2013

Hollywood Babble On& On #1031: The Art Of Revenge!

There are doings a transpiring at the Century City Mall, otherwise known as the unofficial parking lot of the powerful Creative Artists Agency.

Rival mega-agency William Morris Endeavor Agency is accused of posting a new interpretation of the CAA logo turning it into CAAN'T. They also had a CAAN'T website and snuck someone with the CAAN'T logo into the on-camera crowd at the Today Show.

Now you know that this blog is usually a bastion of maturity that wouldn't normally condone such behaviour....

However, part of me would love to see this degenerate into a childish prank war straight out of a 1980s frat-house comedy.

Why, because I love seeing the rich, pompous, and self-important knock each other and themselves down a peg, and if it involves the hoisting of petards, all the better.

So let's all collaborate on what CAA can do for revenge, and when they get that revenge, let's give ideas to WME.


So that helpfully this whole thing escalates to an unbelievable size that plunges all involved into untold depths of humiliation and embarrassment.

Plus, we're talking about top tier Hollywood people and as a community they're not really known for their imagination.

I'll get the ball rolling with:


Dear sirs.

I'm pretty sure it's all going to be "sirs" am I right? Yeah, I'm right.

But seriously fellas... 

Are you just going to take this shit from WME?

Because if you do, then you're going to look weak and waffling, and you don't want that. The smell of your blood is in the water, the sharks are gathering, and the only thing to get rid of it is revenge!

That's why I'm here to help, and I've made a short list of...

1. Overnight CAA poaches all of WMEs assistants by offering them a living wage. The next morning will be pure carnage as top agents are unable to find the source of their non-fat chai-mocha lattes.

2. Send Game Of Thrones spoilers to WME agents, because you can be pretty sure they didn't read the books. 

3. Get the WME bosses on the mailing lists of Republican PACs and conservative Christian groups.
4. Post the e-mail addresses of top WME bosses on erotic fan-fiction and slash-fiction forums saying they're "Open To Submissions," and that attachments are welcome.


If anyone else has any ideas feel free to leave them in the comments.

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