Thursday, 2 January 2014

Hollywood Babble On & On #1105: Glorification, Martyrdom, & Idiocy.


Martin Scorcese and his muse Leonardo DiCaprio have a movie out called The Wolf Of Wall Street. The film covers the true story about a white collar criminal, who made huge money running stock scams, spent huge money on hedonistic high living with fast cars and faster women, and ended up doing time for it all.

Some are accusing the film of glorifying crime, while Scorcese and DiCaprio say they're just telling a story and letting the audience do the judging for themselves.

What do these people want?

The little lectures they used to put in gangster movies in the 1930s about how crime does not pay?

That would kind of defeat the purpose of the film, since SPOILER ALERT crime does pay for the film's lead character because he games the system to avoid any substantial punishment for his crimes.

The film might be attempting to show the weakness of white collar laws, and the moral morass of Wall Street. 

I won't say.

But I doubt anyone who doesn't already have criminal tendencies will see the movie and say "That's for me" and begin a life of crime.


Kevin Smith first announced his retirement, then he backtracked saying he was going to make 1 more film, a horror film called Tusk, about a man who forces another man to dress up like a walrus.

Then he backtracked some more, saying he's going to make even more final films including a new Clerks sequel and a film called Helena Handbag. No, it's not about women's accessories, it's about mankind forming an alliance with Satan to save civilization from a giant monster-Jesus out to "rapture" the world.

This is making me put on my psychoanalysis hat and try to figure out what Smith is up to.

I think Smith feels very unsatisfied when it comes to being a filmmaker. He peaked very early in his career, and ever since his output has been witnessing diminishing returns in both audience and critical reaction. In fact, he seems more popular as a "personality" and raconteur than as a filmmaker, and  wants out.

But he can't just quit.

That might hurt his credibility as an indie darling, and as one of Hollywood's conformist rebels.

He needs to have filmmaking taken away from him, or to be more exact appear to have filmmaking taken away from him.

So he makes films like Red State, a horror film about Hollywood's irrational fear of "psycho American Christians" inspired by America's craziest pseudo-Christian religious cult the Westboro Baptist Church which consists of 1 large family and approximately 5 other people, who haven't actually done any physical violence. In fact, all the Westboro dicks seem good at is attracting attention for being obnoxious.

It got him some attention, but the film wasn't the noble disaster he needed to bow out. So why no do a completely bug-shit premise about a man forcing another man to dress up like a walrus, and follow that up with an apocalyptic comedy about battling Jesus.

Then he can blame the failure of those films on audience ignorance and oppression from Hollywood's favourite bugbear the "religious right." Even though there are only two things the religious right would actually do to Helena Handbag:

1. Complain about it, giving it some free publicity that won't actually help it at the Box Office.

2. Ignore Helena Handbag completely and let the Bore/Offend Matrix do the rest.

Then he can do 1 last Clerks film and quit filmmaking and staying as Hollywood's pet "indie" darling.


Just give it up Shia, you're only making yourself look dumber.

Plus, I'm pretty sure it's been done before.


  1. Now Kev is saying Helena Handbag will be a Broadway musical instead. I knew he was going to change his mind about "his final film" yet again, but I didn't think he'd do it so fast.

  2. I now think he's just saying things for the sake of saying things.

  3. I've been thinking that a long time, actually.

  4. Kevin is actively offensive to Christians and Red state folks. No mystery there as you've pointed out there's little downside for him in it.

    He may be tired of being a indie film guy and want to retire to comic book men and the occasional guest appearance on Tallking Dead.

    He would better serve himself by going with his first love. Find a traditional comic book and adapt it. However, I believe he is afraid of a legit failure so sets himself up with boogy men he can blame when his project tanks.

    He's older gunshy and at some level knows it. He's not Orson Welles. He peaked but at a much lower plateau. Go small but straight no message horror, action, mystery. If he can't pull it off he's probably done.

    Rainforest Giant

  5. Why doesn't Smith REALLY go for it and have a giant Muhammad take on the world? Oh, that's right ...

  6. I think KS is desperately trying to keep his fanbase intact. The people who come to his live shows provide what must be some major league ego-boo. The shows are pretty entertaining, but they're also all about him.

  7. Movies about crime is a common story that makes us aware on how chaotic our world is.
    We can't say that our justice system does not function properly.
    I can probably say that a criminal is not a criminal unless proven guilty, but the victims of a crime will always be a victim.