Friday, 31 January 2014

Hollywood Babble On & On #1116: It's A Big Fat Outrage!!!

Hollywood, you are a bunch of bigoted hate-filled bastards!

Don't deny it, it shows in your casting choices.

Like this news that British actor Damian Lewis is in talks to play King Henry VIII of England in an adaptation of the best-selling novel Wolf Hall.

What a bunch of hateful bastards.

Don't know what I'm talking about?

I'm talking about Hollywood hatred of fat people and their attempts to erase them from history, and by denying plus size actors the best role available for them.

Don't believe me?

This is Henry VIII.

These are the actors who have most recently played Henry VIII:

Eric Bana in The Other Boleyn Girl.
Jonathan Rhys Meyers in The Tudors.

And now the lean and lanky Damian Lewis.

Not one double chin in the bunch.

As you can see, fat-hating bigotry and the desire to deny the plus-sized acting work is the only rational explanation for this blatant bastardization of history.

"But D," whined the apologists for the fat-haters, "Henry VIII wasn't always a big guy."

True, when he was first crowned he was described as a pretty slim chap as seen in this no doubt idealized portrait. However, that look was not only not destined to last longer than about 15 minutes into his first kingly feast, it is not the look or the attitude we associate with him.

Look at his armour, it contains enough sheet metal to construct a small car. That's not the armour of a skinny little wisp of a king. It's the armour of a big fat bastard.

But enough about history being bastardized. Let's look at the human cost. Chiefly the fact that skinny actors are getting parts that belong to fatter actors.

In the old days when Hollywood got an actor of somewhat considerable carriage they knew that they at least had someone who could play Henry VIII. Heck the part even made Charles Laughton a box office star.

It used to be the only consolation Hollywood's fascination with a king who failed at just about everything he ever did was that at least it meant work for the girthy of the acting community.

Even when a comparatively svelte actor wanted to play the part they at least either gained weight or wore padding for the sake of the part.

Not anymore.

Because Hollywood hates fat people.

Are we going to just take this crap?


It's not like they listen to anyone outside their little world.


  1. Rainforest Giant here,

    Hollywood mirrors the whole world within the 90210 zipcode. Not surprising they would have a bias against the fat. You are more likely to see an overtly disabled person than a fat person in most shows.

    Seeing that Hollywood and the left use only stereotypes as short hand, no fat character can be virile or sexy. Thus the slimming for characters they want with a love interest.

  2. Rainforest Giant back again,
    I just want to add that all movies reflect what the film makers want the past to be rather than the truth or even as much as they know it.

    Sometimes it is for love, sometimes hate and sometimes pure ignorance or even stupid 'message' over story. Hair styles are one obvious area, relationships between men and women or races is another.

    All can be forgiven (unless it is a documentary) if the story comes first. There was a time in Henry's life when he was tall strong and handsome. Then came a fall from a horse. Also period armor is notorious for distorting forms even when properly worn and displayed.

    The problem is, that unless you have a real actor who remains virile even when he's heavy the romance becomes much harder and you know Hollywood hates to work.

    Back to my original point, all movies distort the past but unless it's a documentary it's only unforgivable if it negatively impacts the story.

  3. See the once corpulent Mycroft in *both* of the updated Sherlock Holmes series.

    I can't wait to see Matthew McConaughey playing the titular role in a new Nero Wolfe show. Call me, F/X! With (insert name of rapper) as Archie Goodwin.

  4. Or, it could be an artistic choice. Thin people are more "esthetic" and are de rigueur if you're looking for a critic to applaud your cinematography.

    And speaking of differently looked actors, perhaps one of your dissertations on the disappearance of the "character actor" in film roles wouldn't come amiss either. Watching TCM, you can see scads of amazing characters. Where's today's
    Monte Wooley? Sterling Holloway? Sidney Greenstreet? Beulah Bondi?