Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Hollywood Babble On & On #1161: The Thor Thex Thange

Marvel has announced that big manly Thor, star of comics, movies, and animated TV shows is now out, and will be replaced by a female Thor, sparking some to ask if movie Thor Chris Hemsworth should fear for his job.

Marvel also announced that this is a permanent change driven by serious creative considerations.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

That's so full of grade A horse-shit I could fertilize an entire farm with it.

Let's look at the facts:

FACT #1: Chris Hemsworth doesn't have to fear for his job. 

The change is occurring in the comics.

What happens in the comics doesn't count anymore because kids don't read comics.

What matters happen in the movies and the TV shows, because that's what the kids are looking at and basing their merchandise purchasing decisions on. 

FACT #2: This will not be permanent.

Like the deaths of Superman, Wolverine, Bucky, and countless other character this will not last.

I'll bet dollars to donuts that old male Thor will be back in business in time for Age of Ultron's release because Marvel will not sacrifice those crossover marketing dollars so long after the hype over the switch dies down.

They will either kill off the female Thor, or give her another magic hammer, a new name, and pawn her off on some B-list team, or just let her fade away.

There will not be a female Thor movie with Katee Sackhoff.

Sorry, it'll never happen.

FACT #3: The foundations of this change is not based on serious creative considerations, but on a hunger for publicity, and a fundamental hypocrisy.

The comics industry knows that killing off a character or changing their gender is a great way to score free publicity from news outlets who normally don't give a Wolverine's whisker for comics and superheroes.

They also know that changing a male character to female is a good tactical move. Anyone who complains about it can be shouted down as "sexist" "misogynist" and otherwise horrible.

But who is really the sexist one in the conversation here?

Let's look at just a sampling of Marvel's past treatment of women:
This is the most modest outfit in the bunch.

What's the point of a space-suit that let's the astronaut's boobs hang out?

Is her superpower a super stretchy torso & light show?

It's CLEAVAGE, featuring superheroes.

And there's tons more. There are literally whole websites dedicated to the sexist hyper-sexualized  and physic/anatomy defying portrayals of women in comic books.

But, make Thor a woman for a little while, and all seems to be forgiven, and the folks who green lit those images are treated like they're the vanguard of the women's rights movement.

That's not insane, it inane, because it seems to fool people EVERY DAMN TIME.

If you honestly believe that Marvel's going to make the Thor change permanent, and that they're great feminists at heart, you shouldn't be allowed outside without wearing a helmet.

Please, if you don't stop falling for these stunts, they're going to keep doing them, to cover up the fact that the comics industry is hell-bent on burning itself into the ground.

1 comment:

  1. The Marvel comics guys now answer to the Disney suits in Burbank. The suits in Burbank, starting with Iger are all Democratic party wanks. This silly advertising stunt stinks of getting the go-ahead because it surfs on the Donk's pre-Hillary "War on Women" the sequel, campaign.

    Chris Hemsworth doesn't have to fear for his job.

    His manhood, perhaps.

    I might add that my wife his a huge "Thor" fan as are a substantial number of women who would never open a comic book in their life but still dig blond alpha hunks on screen. This news annoyed her greatly and has taken more than a little shine from the movie franchise.

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