Hollywood Babble On & On #1206: The Curious Incident of the Hack in the Nighttime.

When it comes to deciding just who is behind the Sony hack I have a lot of trouble deciding. And not just between wearing my Phillip Marlowe private eye fedora, or my Sherlock Holmes deerstalker cap. I'm having a hard time deciding who did it.

Los Federales in Washington DC are getting more and more adamant that North Korea was behind the hacking and the threats and were doing it over the movie The Interview.

I'm having doubts that the North Korean government or one or more of their agents are the perpetrators.

Why?

Something about the types of material being released. If Kim Jong Un is anything like his father he's probably a movie fan, and if he was overseeing the leak the attacks would be to ruin the movies themselves. Bootlegs and spoilers should literally be EVERYWHERE, and yet they're not making the news. Nor is identity theft. The hackers, be they in North Korea, China, or Russia did not take an opportunity to pre-steal celebrity identities and go on massive shopping sprees before dumping that data in public and allowing the celebrities to take precautions? That's suspicious to me. Neither is the celebrity gossip that pops up, a little item or two may appear, but then would disappear just as fast because they're as consequential as a fart in a hurricane.

This is the curious incident of the dog in the night time if I ever saw one.

What's that? you ask, furrowing your brow in a feeble attempt to understand.

*puts on my Sherlock Holmes deerstalker hat with 100+ year old SPOILER ALERT written on it*

It's from an Arthur Conan Doyle story starring Sherlock Holmes where Holmes identifies the killer because a guard dog that barks at everyone but a select few people did not bark at all on the night of the murder.

Despite a culture that's obsessed with celebrity to an unhealthy degree, ask yourself: What are the stories from the Sony hack that have "legs" or staying power in the public consciousness?

Everything that casts Sony Pictures upper management, and their handling of the company, in a bad light. Those are the stories that won't go away.

Sony's top management, Lynton and Pascal, aren't helping, exacerbating each story with ham-handed handling of everything. In their scrambling they have essentially given green-light and red-light powers to professional provocateur Al Sharpton and dictator Kim Jong Un.

When the hack first happened the first thing they should have done was issue a release declaring the hack, warning those with their data breached to take precautions, and that they cannot confirm or deny the veracity of anything that gets released, implying that a lot of fake shit will be coming out.

Instead, they pretty much confirmed EVERYTHING and ended up looking like they had their heads up their butts.

Not good.

Now this is my theory.

Where I think the hacker is hiding.

The content of the material and the timing was literally set to maximize damage to Sony's top management. That tells me that whoever is pulling the strings behind this is not in North Korea, but in the Greater Los Angeles area, and more likely than not has an office in Sony Pictures HQ in Culver City.

Now I'm calling this suspect a "string-puller" instead of a "hacker" because I don't think they did the hack themselves. They might have hired someone with the requisite computer skills to stage the hack  and make it look like it came from North Korea.

Then came the dumping of material, it took some insider knowledge, and sense of the current American socio-political climate to make sure that the right people saw the right material to make life worse for SPE's bosses. Those are things that I suspect Kim Jong Un's regime lacks.

That's my theory, I'm just putting it out there, in anticipation of being proven right all along.