6 DEGREES OF DECAPITATION
an ongoing blog-based abuse of the art of fiction
CHAPTER 25: COUNTDOWN TO DOOM!
by guest writer
JOEL SURNOW
JOEL SURNOW
(creator of TV's 24)
INTRO--
THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE
BETWEEN THE HOURS OF
6:00 AM & 7:00 AM
BETWEEN THE HOURS OF
6:00 AM & 7:00 AM
EXT. SEASIDE CLIFF --DAY (SUNRISE)
Furious D sees a large helicopter approach with a GOON hanging out the side door brandishing an assault rifle and aims it at Furious D.
Bullets zip past Furious D who nimbly dodges the shots and dives behind a rock for cover.
Bullets fly around him, but he stays steely calm.
He aims and fires.
The chopper's PILOT develops a bullet hole right in the center of his head.
The chopper pilot slumps over the controls and the helicopter slips below the edge of the cliff.
The helicopter hovers beneath Furious D, it's deadly blades spinning very deadly!
Furious D falls toward the helicopter, slips between the spinning blades and lands expertly on the roof of the helicopter.
INT. HELICOPTER --CONTINUOUS
The Goon with the gun is pulling the dead pilot off the controls of the chopper.
Then the side door opens behind him.
It's Furious D.
Furious D punches the Goon who stumbles out the other door of the helicopter and plunges to his death.
GiGi, Playful1, and Chompy T. Badger are tied up in the back of the van.
The back door opens and the girls, and the badger see Furious D.
A WOUNDED GOON is trying to crawl away from the van.
Furious D and the others come up behind him and the girls pin the Wounded Goon to the ground.
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD --LATER
Two more helicopters arrive, they have the CTU logo and disgorge a platoon of black uniformed commandos who take the Wounded Goon prisoner and load him into the first chapter. CTU AGENT TRAITOR comes out of the second chopper.
Our heroes strap themselves into the back seat of the chopper and Traitor takes the pilot's seat. The chopper takes off and flies into the air.
Furious D's phone rings.
SPLIT SCREEN- FURIOUS D IN CHOPPER / CHLOE'S DESK AT CTU HQ
Bullets zip past Furious D who nimbly dodges the shots and dives behind a rock for cover.
More shots ring off the rock.FURIOUS DWhat the hell is happening? I thought this was a novel, why are we in screenplay format?SURNOW (OS)Oh, yeah, I'm not much of a novelist, so I went to a format I'm good at.FURIOUS DWon't it confuse my readers?SURNOW(OS)I'm sure both of them are plenty confused by the dog's breakfast of a plot you've been using. What the hell is with the golden budgie?
Furious D rises from behind the rock, his pistol in his hand.FURIOUS DForget that, what about the chopper?SURNOW (OS)How about a crazy, over the top stunt?FURIOUS DFine by me.
Bullets fly around him, but he stays steely calm.
He aims and fires.
The chopper's PILOT develops a bullet hole right in the center of his head.
The chopper pilot slumps over the controls and the helicopter slips below the edge of the cliff.
Furious D charges to the edge of the cliff.FURIOUS DNow's my chance!
Furious D leaps off the clip.FURIOUS DI have to time this just right!
The helicopter hovers beneath Furious D, it's deadly blades spinning very deadly!
Furious D falls toward the helicopter, slips between the spinning blades and lands expertly on the roof of the helicopter.
INT. HELICOPTER --CONTINUOUS
The Goon with the gun is pulling the dead pilot off the controls of the chopper.
Then the side door opens behind him.
It's Furious D.
POW!FURIOUS DHowdy there. Looks like you need a hand.
Furious D punches the Goon who stumbles out the other door of the helicopter and plunges to his death.
INT. BACK OF VAN --MOMENTS LATERFURIOUS DSorry, that wasn't a hand, that was a fist.
GiGi, Playful1, and Chompy T. Badger are tied up in the back of the van.
THUMP!GIGII think we're really doomed this time.PLAYFUL1If Furious D really is dead, then why is this story going on?SURNOW(OS)No guessing what's coming!GIGISo he is still alive!
The van skids to a halt. There are some gunshots outside.PLAYFUL1That sounds like a chopper landing on the roof!
The back door opens and the girls, and the badger see Furious D.
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD --MOMENTS LATERFURIOUS DIt's me, Furious D!GIGIOf course it's you. It's either you, or Keifer Sutherland really let himself go.FURIOUS DHey! Surnow! Cut the editorials! Where's LaFarge & Saccharine?PLAYFUL1They must have left in another van.FURIOUS DI left one of their goons alive. Time for the torture scene!GIGICan I come, I'm a bit of a sadist.FURIOUS DWe can all come!
A WOUNDED GOON is trying to crawl away from the van.
Furious D and the others come up behind him and the girls pin the Wounded Goon to the ground.
Furious D takes out a manila envelope.FURIOUS DYou are going to talk. You have no control over that. What you can control, is how bad this is going to hurt.WOUNDED GOONI will never talk!
Furious D opens the envelope.FURIOUS DInside this picture are naked pictures of Michael Moore. If you don't tell me what I want to know, I will take them out and make you look at them.WOUNDED GOONYou're a freaking sadist!FURIOUS DTell me what I need to know!WOUNDED GOONThen tell me what you need to know!FURIOUS DWhere are LaFarge and Saccharine?
WOUNDED GOONI'll talk! I'll talk!
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD --LATER
Two more helicopters arrive, they have the CTU logo and disgorge a platoon of black uniformed commandos who take the Wounded Goon prisoner and load him into the first chapter. CTU AGENT TRAITOR comes out of the second chopper.
INT. TRAITOR'S CHOPPER --MOMENTS LATERAGENT TRAITORI'm CTU agent Traitor. I'm to take all of you back to CTU HQ, PDQ.FURIOUS DI like the sound of your jargon. And your name inspires trust. Let's go.
Our heroes strap themselves into the back seat of the chopper and Traitor takes the pilot's seat. The chopper takes off and flies into the air.
Furious D's phone rings.
FURIOUS DHello. Morty's Morgue, you stab'em we slab'em.
(to phone)
SPLIT SCREEN- FURIOUS D IN CHOPPER / CHLOE'S DESK AT CTU HQ
CHLOEIt's me, the geeky, but strangely hot Chloe. I have to tell you something. Special Agent Traitor, is a real traitor.FURIOUS DBugger.
TO BE CONTINUED:
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