Wednesday, 27 February 2008

Fun & Games: The Ending Game...

Okay, ever watched a movie and thought the ending should have been waaaay different. Ever thought of how the films should have ended?

Well now it's your turn to entertain me with your ideas for how famous films should have ended!

I'll get the ball rolling:
THE MATRIX TRILOGY- My version would have ended with Neo discovering that Morpheus's bosses are in fact a doomsday cult descended from the same people who started the war that made the surface uninhabitable. The machines have been fighting them in order to save the human race, who they've kept alive in the Matrix while they rebuilt the surface world. Neo then has to join the machines and destroy his former allies. It ends with Neo fusing his brain with the Matrix, protecting humanity from new iterations of the doomsday cult until the reconstruction of the surface is completed.
I thought of that ending because I thought Morpheus' story about using people as batteries as pretty damn lame and having it turn out to be a big fat lie would be a nice twist.

So, what new endings would you have preferred to see?

10 comments:

  1. I thought of that ending because I thought Morpheus' story about using people as batteries as pretty damn lame

    Not only that, but it violates the Second Law of Thermodynamics. I read somewhere that the original concept was that the brains of humans were used as processors for the distributed computing network which the Matrix itself existed within. That would have been much better, and (if it's true) I don't understand why they dropped the idea. I haven't seen the third part of the trilogy (if I remember correctly, I lasted about 30 seconds before I muttered something along the lines of 'screw this' and switched over to watch American Pie on another channel), but I imagine that your ending probably is better than the one they actually used.

    Incidentally, I once met a Hare Krishna proselytiser whose approach relied entirely on me having seen The Matrix. The fact that I hadn't (at the time) threw him completely. He kept trying to use the movie as an example anyway, which just goes to show the value of having a 'Plan B'.

    Anyway, alternative endings: I've always thought that Ghost World should have ended about ten minutes earlier, when Norman got on the bus. Everything that happened after that seemed redundant to me.

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  2. How's about one of the more recent flick. I'm not imaginative to figure out a more satisfacting end to the recent Golden Dildo winner called "No Country for Old Geezers". One of the finest shows out of '07.. Except for the last TWENTY minutes. My rookie attempt of an ending thou, would include the PRINCIPLE character you've been following the last hour and a half conclude his conflict with the cartel to climax with something closer to a "Miller's Crossing" rather then a bunch of old coots lamenting the FALL of AMERICA... That's a great title for a Epic!

    Add that large mute idiot G Dildo winner if I must(Seriously! Is Hollyweird that desperate for the next Hannibal Lector? That character in this movie had maybe 6 lines Top! If he won it for presence, then why didn't the "Thing" from the original Halloween walk out with one as well?!) to die messily like he should of rather then the lame ass ending.

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  3. Not my idea, but maybe simply following the Original story of Beowulf rather that spectacular CG travesty?

    Scenes like the first show up of Beowulf on his boat with the camera screaming "LOOK - LOOK!! It's ALL CG" and those stupid Following a horse over a burning bridge -Only on CG!- and not the final joke of "Let's follow those arrows all the way into a hairy clod ..SEE?! Only on CG!!!"

    It should of been more like "300" & less like "Gosford Park".

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  4. The complete script change of "Cloverfield" would be in my line of remakes. Amping up the shaky cam to produce immediate vomit rockets after the slow beginnings which happen in Paris instead of NY.

    It makes more sense over there because of the wimpish nature of the yellow back military raping frogs (Dafar UN assist anybody?). To sweeting the thrill, all the Raghead-sorry- Muslims will be right behind the monster in euphoria and declaring it to be the Sword of Allah destroying all those infidels and themselves setting afire all the untouched cars in it's wake.

    Hell, you could still have the "heroes" as expatriates having a party for a new guy fresh off the plane from the US and have them all blast the Imperialistic nature of that horrid land! ... Until the Monster comes a knocking.

    Better stop.
    There's just too many movies out there that cry out for help to make them into Blockbusters.

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  5. I read somewhere that the original concept was that the brains of humans were used as processors for the distributed computing network which the Matrix itself existed within. That would have been much better, and (if it's true) I don't understand why they dropped the idea.

    Source:
    http://whatisthematrix.warnerbros.com/cmp/neil_g.html
    And
    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/JustBugsMe/TheMatrix
    Like he said, the Wachowskis wanted to have the humans used as a giant neural network computer, but executives didn't think the audience would understand it.

    BTW Furious D: Here's a note on how they were going to do the matrix.
    http://www.cracked.com/article_15631_p3.html (#2-1)

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  6. snap_pop_no_crackle28/2/08 11:02 pm

    The change I'd like to make to the Matrix movies would be to include one OCD person in Zion walking around with a ball of yarn and some knitting needles stopping anyone wearing a torn sweater and doing a quick repair job. Everybody had freaking unraveling knitwear and they had just come to accept that! No wonder the human race was living like rats in holes.
    Having the machine-gun exoskeletons have a more sophisticated targeting system than having the operators wave their arms and scream would be good also.

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  7. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/JustBugsMe/TheMatrix
    Like he said, the Wachowskis wanted to have the humans used as a giant neural network computer, but executives didn't think the audience would understand it.


    That source is an unreferenced wiki, and the part about executive meddling really seems to be nothing more than opinion.

    Now that I think about it, the 'battery' concept in the movie violates more than just the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Even when you take into account that the machines are supposed to have fusion reactors, the concept still relies on getting more energy out of a system than you put in.

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  8. You can't really complain about the world of the Matrix. Since we're presumably all in virtual reality, actual reality may well be quite different. Perhaps in the REAL non Matrix world, the laws of physics are quite different, or humans really do produce large amounts of electrical energy.

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  9. Munich -
    Instead of leaving Israel and settling in New York, Avner shrugs his shoulders about the killing of the terrorists and get his next assignment from his handler. Salameh then blows up in a cloud of car bombing dust. Because undoubtedly that's how Mossad assassins would really act.

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  10. Perhaps in the REAL non Matrix world, the laws of physics are quite different, or humans really do produce large amounts of electrical energy.

    Hell, maybe "in the REAL non Matrix world", the machines need human souls to feed to the electricity demons. Yeah, I like that. Let's go with that.

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