Monday, 14 April 2008

Hollywood Babble On & On #83: D-Sop's Fables...

There's a lot of chatter and debate going on about the turf battles between the performer unions SAG, and AFTRA, and within SAG itself over the "qualified voting" issue. Now I'm not going to pass judgements on the merits or demerits of any side, I'll leave that to people on the inside of the issue.

However, I have composed a happy little fable to offer my opinion on the divisions itself.
A short time ago in the relatively close Kingdom of Egonia Two brothers, Jack and Zack were going to the town of Narsissa to earn money to buy food, but to get to town they needed to cross Piranha Pond.

Now they had crossed treacherous Piranha Pond many times, using their rowboat. However, they're boat wasn't very well designed. It needed both of them to get it into the water, and once on the water, on had to steer from the back of the boat, while the other rowed and looked out for floating logs ridden by ill tempered feces hurling monkeys.

Normally Zack steered, while Jack rowed and watched out for trouble, but today, as they stood on the shore of the pond, Jack decided that he wanted to steer instead.

Zack was about to agree when a piranha poked its head out of the water and whispered: "What kind of a crap idea is that? You're the best steerer."

Another piranha poked its head out of the water and whispered to Jack: "Don't take any crap from Zack, he thinks you're too dumb to steer."

Suddenly, what could have been a civilized discussion ended up in a big brouhaha. Insults were exchanged, feces were thrown, and then came the punching.

"That's it," declared Jack, his nose bloody, "you can row and steer the boat yourself, I'm going to swim across the pond!"

"Oh yeah," said Zack, his nose just as bloody as his brother's, "Betcha I can swim across faster."

Both brothers dove into Piranha Pond, and were promptly eaten. Their now empty skulls floated to the surface, where they were retrieved by log riding monkeys who used them for target practise until they were buried under a mound of dung as high as a Malibu beach-house.

And the lesson is, don't fight in front of the piranhas or you're both going to be eaten alive and in deep shit.
Thus endeth the lesson.

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