Today I've dug up a script from a classic old-time soap opera that I found very prescient. So let's slip back to the TV show of yesteryear that tells us all about the Hollywood of today....
NARRATORIt's time for another edition of As The Stomach Turns. When we last left the people of the quaint small town of Holly Woods local society lady Essay Gee was returning home from shopping to make a terrible discovery.
INT. BEDROOM -- EVENING
Door opens, light comes on, revealing a man and a woman in bed.ESSAY GEESweet Chopra on chutney! It's my fiance Haf Tra and he's in bed with Amy P. Teepee, my mortal enemy.HAF TRAHoney, this is what you think. I am just working in the best interest of my member.ESSAY GEEI'm sure you are.AMY P. TEEPEECome on, you know I'm the only one who can make Haf Tra happy.ESSAY GEEThis doesn't involve you!
(to Amy P. Teepee)HAF TRAI don't want to talk about it.ESSAY GEEWell I do. Let's debate what you've done, since Amy P. Teepee is your mortal enemy too.HAF TRAI said, I don't want to talk about it.ESSAY GEELet's debate this issue like adults.
Essay Gee doesn't see that Amy P. Teepee is sneaking up behind her with a baseball bat.NARRATORWill Essay Gee see that she's let this heartbreak leave her open for a serious floggin' about the noggin? Will Haf Tra talk about his feelings, and his sinister plans? Will Amy P. Teepee get away with all this? Tune in next time for another edition of As The Stomach Turns.