Hollywood Babble On & On #115: As The Stomach Turns

Today I've dug up a script from a classic old-time soap opera that I found very prescient. So let's slip back to the TV show of yesteryear that tells us all about the Hollywood of today....

NARRATOR

It's time for another edition of As The Stomach Turns. When we last left the people of the quaint small town of Holly Woods local society lady Essay Gee was returning home from shopping to make a terrible discovery.

INT. BEDROOM -- EVENING

Door opens, light comes on, revealing a man and a woman in bed.

ESSAY GEE

Sweet Chopra on chutney! It's my fiance Haf Tra and he's in bed with Amy P. Teepee, my mortal enemy.

HAF TRA

Honey, this is what you think. I am just working in the best interest of my member.

ESSAY GEE

I'm sure you are.

AMY P. TEEPEE

Come on, you know I'm the only one who can make Haf Tra happy.

ESSAY GEE
(to Amy P. Teepee)

This doesn't involve you!

HAF TRA

I don't want to talk about it.

ESSAY GEE

Well I do. Let's debate what you've done, since Amy P. Teepee is your mortal enemy too.

HAF TRA

I said, I don't want to talk about it.

ESSAY GEE

Let's debate this issue like adults.

Essay Gee doesn't see that Amy P. Teepee is sneaking up behind her with a baseball bat.

NARRATOR

Will Essay Gee see that she's let this heartbreak leave her open for a serious floggin' about the noggin? Will Haf Tra talk about his feelings, and his sinister plans? Will Amy P. Teepee get away with all this? Tune in next time for another edition of As The Stomach Turns.