Tuesday, 3 March 2009

An Open Letter To Allan Moore

Dear Allan Moore.

I've been a fan for a long time. I even had the incomplete 1963 series (before my meager collection was stolen in 1994), and I've enjoyed your signature work
The Watchmen.

However, I do have one tiny request.

Please stop complaining about The Watchmen movie version and Hollywood in general.

Yes, I know you got hosed, everyone who does business with the big media companies gets hosed sometime in their lives, and many get hosed multiple times. You have a right to join the legions of people pissed off at the shower of bastards called Hollywood.

However, your complaints about The Watchmen movie will have the opposite effect.

Remember, Time-Warner is the classic heartless conglomerate, they don't care about your feelings, but are not above manipulating
them for their own gain.

Yes, a writer disowning a movie version of their work can damage its appeal, and hence its ability to fatten the CEO's bonus, because it implies the loss of the qualities that made the original work so appealing.

But, and this is a gargantuan but, you already played your hand by disowning any movie version of The Watchmen, especially one made by the company that screwed you, no matter how it stands as a piece of cinema. So when you complain about the movies "spoon-feeding" entertainment, and such, it really says nothing about whether the film will be any good.

Warner Bros. knows this and is making sure that every crappy piece of licensed merchandising gets your attention. I'm talking about the Dr. Manhattan condoms, the action figures, the posters, and every other tacky piece of crap, and letting slip rumors of sequels being considered is the cherry on top. They're not expecting to make their fortune of this crap, what they are hoping is that it gets you pissed off.

When you get pissed off, you talk about it, and since you make good copy in the geek related press, it gets played all over the internet. But Warners doesn't care that you don't like The Watchmen, or that you disown it, what they care about is that every time you complain about the movie, and the corporation that made it, the reporter has to mention the name of the movie, and the time it's being released.

You've become their biggest advertising tool, and you're free, absolutely free.

Don't let them play you like that.

Unless they're secretly paying you, then wring them for all they're worth, but until then, just let it go, bottle up your rage, and release it by writing a new book called The Botchmen a scathing satire about a sleazy studio executive trying to make a bad superhero movie, but can't get anything done, and all he does is announce new live action movies that never get made.

So until next time, be happy, be healthy, and don't let the bastards jerk you around.


Furious D

1 comment:

  1. D, for God sake... Don't be brilliant when I'm off duty, especially when I have a lumbago.

    With all the respect due to Mr Moore, his disapproval is a quasi-gimmick when a movie adaptation of his work is released.

    I absolutely love V for Vendetta, but I enjoyed the adaptation too.

    By the way, have you thought to copyright The Botchmen? ;-)