Jeff Zucker, the Master & Commander of the sinking ship we know as NBC-Universal, has recently let go his Public Relations Czar.
Now I don't know who could project the right public image for the floundering network, but here are some candidates who might do the job:
He's very grandfatherly, wise, and if the reporters start asking really embarrassing questions, about NBC's ratings, then he can do that Jedi Mind Trick. "This is not the failing network you're looking for." And if they get really uppity, a few swipes of his light-saber will settle their hash.
Come on, how can you possibly look at that face and accuse the people running NBC of gross incompetence?
He's slick, stylish, charming, can "gesture hypnotically" to make Nikki Finke think she's a chicken, distract others with rabbits out of his hat, and since he hasn't worked in a while, he's within NBC's price range.
Or, if NBC's willing to do something drastic...
Now I don't know who could project the right public image for the floundering network, but here are some candidates who might do the job:
OBI WAN KENOBI
He's very grandfatherly, wise, and if the reporters start asking really embarrassing questions, about NBC's ratings, then he can do that Jedi Mind Trick. "This is not the failing network you're looking for." And if they get really uppity, a few swipes of his light-saber will settle their hash.A CUTE PUPPY
Come on, how can you possibly look at that face and accuse the people running NBC of gross incompetence?MANDRAKE THE MAGICIAN
He's slick, stylish, charming, can "gesture hypnotically" to make Nikki Finke think she's a chicken, distract others with rabbits out of his hat, and since he hasn't worked in a while, he's within NBC's price range.Or, if NBC's willing to do something drastic...
JESUS
He's popular with Americans and can raise the dead. If he can't save NBC's image, then no one can.
Ah, Furious D, you amuse me to no end. Glad I didn't miss this one.
ReplyDeleteBela, is that you?
ReplyDelete-The Evil Twin