Monday, 14 September 2009

Hollywood Babble On & On #370: Slow News Day Ramblings...

Welcome to the show folks, bit of a slow news day, but what the heck...


In an act of magnanimity not seen since Frank Sinatra saved Don Rickles from a beating by saying: "He's had enough," director Michael Bay said he does not condone the criticism of actress Megan Fox by members of the Transformers crew.

Yes folks, you can cue the violins because it gets even more heartwarming.

Michael is currently writing the script for
Transformers 3 all by himself, and he let me have a sneak peek to excite all you geeks, and Megan Fox has a major role in the movie. According to Bay's script the fate of the world rests on the shoulders of Megan Fox's character and she has to perform some incredible tasks to save the Earth.

First she has to wash Bay's car collection, followed by time working undercover as a toilet cleaner in a biker bar, and then she has to recover the sacred Key of the Omnitron, which is lodged in the prostate of an elephant suffering from diarrhea. Bay assures me that he taking a whole new tack by going for realism, realism, realism. Fox will really be washing real cars, scrubbing real toilets in the skankiest biker bar in the United States, and be working with a real elephant with real diarrhea, with no special effects, no computer graphics, and no gloves.

You know, I take back all the bad things I've said about Bay, he's a real mensch.


Shameless attention whore Kanye West decided to ruin teen singer's Taylor Swift's moment in the sun in a drunken attempt to get some attention from Beyonce.

Kanye is the classic case of someone who views fame as an entitlement. He got extremely lucky and exploded very quickly onto the music scene, he then literally let it all go to his head, and now thinks that his every brainfart is some sort of gospel.

It's only a matter of time before his fans start to see through the bravado and see that there's nothing standing behind it, because if there was, he wouldn't feel the need to get drunk enough to have the balls to ruin a teenage girl's supposed to be important moment in front the whole world.

I understand his next project is to interrupt weddings with long winded rants about how MC Hammer is under appreciated.


I was shocked to find out that they've started seriously working on Seth Rogen's
Green Hornet movie, but I was pleased to find out that Austrian actor Christoph Waltz has been given the main villain role.

I say good for him, and hopefully good for Hollywood. Right now the movie biz is suffering from a decent villain drought. Most movie villains these days are pretty much forgotten as soon as the final credits roll. Part of it comes from weak storytelling, putting more on shaky-cam flash than narrative or character development.

Now some actors may balk at being "typecast" as "the villain" but there is an upside. It's the best way to be a real scene stealer, actors love that, and for a middle aged actor playing the villain is pretty much a guarantee of regular work, for a long time. A good villain player can graduate from physical threat to moral and intellectual threat, and work pretty steadily well into their 70s and even 80s.

Good luck Mr. Waltz, bank your money, and ride this pony as long as you can and for all you can get.


  1. I've known Kanye West was a certified a**hole ever since his "Bush hates black people!" comment... this is just further proof.

  2. Pres Obama called Kayne a jackass off the record at a recent press conference. At least Beyonce showed some class and maturity and let Taylor on stage with her.

    Kayne was walking around with a bottle on Cognac the entire show acting like a bum. I do not care how expensive your booze is, a drunkard is still a drunkard. When his career tanks he will probably start trading the cognac for some ice cold MD 20/20, scratch that mad Dog is too good for him, he will be seen swilling Thunderbird out of a brown bag.

  3. Dirty McDingus Sezs

    I'm sure M.C. Hammers' got a Motel 6 room saved just for this drunkard in 2011. So they can relive their shining minutes in the spotlight together, for the next few more decades.