Monday 8 March 2010

Hollywood Babble On & On #465: Miscellaneous Musings

Welcome to the show folks...

Time for a few little tidbits for your amusement and edification.

REDHEAD GOES RED FOR SYFY.

Geek/gamer goddess Felicia Day, famous for her roles on
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and her web-series The Guild, has inked a deal to star in Red, a Syfy TV movie, playing a novice werewolf hunter.

If you listen carefully and you can hear thousands of nerds squealing in ecstasy.

AVATAR'S UNORIGINAL? I'M SHOCKED, SHOCKED!!

A Canadian cafe owner has filed a lawsuit against James Cameron, claiming his mega-blockbuster
Avatar was stolen from his screenplay.

Now I don't know the merits of the man's case. What I do know is that he's going to have to get in line behind the writers of Pocahontas, Dances With Wolves, Ferngully, The Smurfs, and about two hundred other claimants.

That's the problem when you put all your originality in your special effects and not your story.

LET THERE BE 3D IMAX PRINTS!

Some producers have announced plans to do a big budget 3D adaptation of the Book of Genesis.

Personally, I don't know what about Phil Collins' drumming would make a good 3D movie, but...

Oh, sorry, they mean the
Bible's Book of Genesis.

Well, I'm going to make 3 predictions, or prophecies, if I may, about this project:

1. The film will be Rated R, for violence, and the at least implied nudity in the Garden of Eden.

2. The casting of Taylor Lautner as God will be considered a huge mistake.

3. The script by Kurtzmann and Orci will somehow involve shape-shifting robots.

SEAN PENN WAS NOT THE BELLE OF THE BALL

Sean Penn did not attend the Governor's Ball after the Academy Awards last night. Some reports say he was banned for getting into a confrontation with his ex-wife's current beau, one of the producers of
The Hurt Locker.

Well, we can't go on just rumors. We need wild speculations, and here are my Top 10.

10 Other Possible Reasons Penn Wasn't At The Governor's Ball:

1. Wore the same dress as Sarah Jessica Parker.

2. Banned because he kept punching out the official photographer.

3. Banned because he kept mispronouncing Wolfgang Puck's last name.

5. Went to get some cigarettes and didn't come back.

6. Didn't want to spend the night listening to James Cameron crying about losing out to an ex-wife.

7. Elinor Burkett kept cutting in front of him in line, and he left in tears.

8. Refused to attend the ball to protest Bea Arthur being left out of the memorial reel.

9. The John Hughes memorial brought back too many bitter memories of the time he lost out the lead in
16 Candles to Molly Ringwald.

10. Banned because no one wanted the smell of cigarettes and all encompassing resentment floating around the ball.

1 comment:

  1. So someone's claiming that a blockbuster movie stole their screenplay. Ho f*cking Hum.

    There are a bazillion screenplays out there, the vast majority written by folks who don't think taking a writing course or even reading a "How to Write Screenplays in One Easy Lesson" book is necessary or even advisable. No, they think all you need is an "IDEA".

    Given that a bazillion monkeys writing amateur screenplays would just about cover all possible scenarios, then it doesn't come as much of a shock that every time there's a major blockbuster some monkey is going to fling poo at it and get his/her name in the paper for the inevitable story in this week's fishwrap.

    Most of the time I find this tedious and boring, but in AVATAR'S case I'll make an exception and just chuckle slightly.

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