Friday, 11 June 2010

Hollywood Babble On & On #532: 3 Quick Hits

Welcome to the show folks...

Sorry for not posting anything yesterday. Combination of business, laziness, and plain old orneriness.

But here I am, with a few short little notes to ponder...

TWILIGHT OF THE WEST END?

Some British theater producers took a break from jacking up prices and sucking up for government hand-outs to chat up
Twilight star Kristin Stewart about the possibility of starring in a play in London's storied West End.

Now some might think Miss Stewart is crazy for putting herself on the stage, since London's critics can be unfairly harsh to those they consider spoiled Hollywood interlopers soiling the stages made sacred by the like of Olivier and Gielgud with their presence.

Or crazy like a fox. (And I'm not talking Megan)

Out of character Miss Stewart has a habit of coming across in the press as a sulky, disinterested, occasionally petulant, teeny-bopper with a perpetually stoned look on her face.

Nothing humanizes someone better than being maliciously mangled by London's notoriously snooty and elitist critics. This goes doubly true if she knuckles down, works hard, and does her best. Then they look like nasty bullies, and she a poor little girl deserving of sympathy.

Or she could just be crazy. Right now, it's a toss up.

FLASHFORWARD FANS FLASHMOB FOR FUTILITY

Fans of the canceled sci-fi show Flashforward stage mass recreations of the "blackouts" featured in the show's pilot in a vain attempt to save their favourite show.

It's not going to work.

Flashforward was a great concept for a mini-series, or one of those British TV style multi-episode adaptations of the original novel by Robert Sawyer. However, it was a terrible concept for an open ended series. You can only stretch out the mystery of the Flashforward for so long before people get sick of it. Even Lost knew that having just the island wasn't enough, and started tossing mysteries and mayhem with both hands in the hope that enough stuck well enough to win back viewers, and even then they had to buckle down and announce an official end date to save the show.

Viewers knew this and didn't want to get burned, so they avoided the show, not wanting to get attached to the characters and interested in the plot, because something in the back of their minds told them it was going to leave them hanging. That something was right. The finale did leave the show's few fans hanging, and now their acting like idiots in public because of it.

LIONSGATE FEUD GETS KOOKIER

Billionaire gadfly Mark Cuban was listening to the little leprechaun that lives in his sandbox and only he can see it, because he's injected himself into the Lionsgate Feud.

Cuban owns 5% of the mini-major and has announced that he's going to sell his shares to Carl Icahn. It this goes through with the other 4% being tendered, the New York based takeover maven will own 28% of Lionsgate.

This is the time that I tell both factions to get together, sing "Give Peace A Chance," share a spliff, I don't care, because this battle has gone on too long.

Too many major shareholders are aligned with management, but Icahn owns too much stock to be ignored, or driven out. This is what we call a Mexican Standoff, both sides have all their guns pointing at each other, but no one can actually achieve total victory without a complete bloodbath.

The company is distracted from what it's supposed to do, which is make and distribute movies, and is wasting millions on keeping this battle going.

Come on, would a company that was actually paying attention to its business try to convince audiences that a covert agency would give Ashton Kutcher a gun?

No.

So have your group hug in the boardroom and end this shit. Now.

Don't make me come down and give you a talking to.

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