Monday, 25 October 2010

Hollywood Babble On & On #620: What To Do?

Welcome to the show folks....

It's been a while, having taken a bit of a long weekend off from blogging, but I'm back, and as annoying as ever. Let's get this thing started...


French New Wave legend Jean-Luc Godard has officially thanked the Academy for giving him its lifetime achievement award, but has admitted that he won't be attending the event itself.

Good for M. Godard. The maker of such films as
Alphaville is 80 years old and really can't afford to spend pretty much every waking moment from now until about a month after the Oscar ceremony preparing for, enduring, and recovering from attending the Oscars.

It wasn't always that way, the Academy Awards were supposed to be a fun and entertaining get together to salute quality work. Not quite as much fun as the Golden Globes, where they were expected to drink during the show, but still fun nonetheless. Then it started taking itself way too seriously, the films they honor became a genre onto themselves, and the whole thing became one big snore-fest

With so much free time on M. Godard's hands, let's offer him a few suggestions for what he can do now that he's not attending the Oscars.

1. Enjoy some wine and cigarettes, he is French after all.

2. Finally realize his dream of finishing his script for a reboot of the
Porky's franchise.

3. Write some jokes for the upcoming roast of Bernardo Bertolucci at the Friars Club.

4. Dance frantically in his living room to the music of Justin Bieber playing backwards. (Which always come out sounding exactly like a disco remix of
The Internationale)

If you have your own suggestions, feel free to post them in the comments.


Halle Berry wants another one, so she's putting out a movie where she plays a woman with multiple personality disorder for a qualifying run in theaters in New York and Los Angeles.

Halle won a Best Actress award in 2001 for being able to find Billy Bob Thornton attractive in Monster's Ball. Since then she's careened from stinker to stinker, and thinks another Oscar doing a remix of The 3 Faces of Eve, will revive her career.

I'm sure winning an Oscar is wonderful for an actor, it has to be considering the terrible things actors do to get one. However, pursuing a second Oscar can hurt more than help. Remember Marisa Tomei? She won for her comic turn in
My Cousin Vinny, then followed it up with some weepy drama about falling in love with a guy with a baboon heart.

It was supposed to get her a Best Leading Actress Oscar, but instead helped stymie her career for years, forcing her to literally start over again as a working actress, until reclaiming critical and peer acclaim in indie films like
In The Bedroom, The Wrestler, and Before The Devil Knows Your Dead.

As Audrey Hepburn once said: Showbiz is a hideous bitch-goddess that derives joy from your failure, and loves to punish the obvious Oscar whoring.

I wish Miss Berry luck, she's going to need it.


Apparently, the cast of
The Hangover 2 didn't think a cameo by actor/ director/ racial harmony motivational speaker/ telephone raconteur/ liquor connoisseur Mel Gibson was somehow a step down from briefly sharing the screen with convicted rapist Mike Tyson in the first film.

Some will say that this is Hollywood hypocrisy in action, others will say that it's all being overblown, and while others will say it's just what Mel deserves.

Well I think it's a missed opportunity.

When you have a chance to have Mel Gibson come down for a couple of days to shoot a cameo, you do not turn it down. You bring him right on in, and then you BUST HIS BALLS WITHOUT MERCY OR REMORSE.

Really, he has to take it. If he walks, or has a hissy-fit, he knows his career will be even farther up shit creek than it is already. He has to sit there and take it.

Then maybe he might learn something.


  1. When it comes to Actors trying to desperately get an Oscar, Tropic Thunder said it best "you never go full retard".

  2. je pressman27/10/10 4:09 am

    About a week or so ago someone in Hollywoodland noticed that this years' Oscar cast was going to be very white. So lo and behold the miracle of Halle has occurred and those AMPAS folks have themselves an actress of the ethnic persuasion available for Oscar night.Houdini would have been proud. But where are the Eskimo actresses,or the Japanese or American Indian, or Chinese,or Hispanic actresses for Oscar to consider? Halle's film is another one of those art-house films that are ever so popular with the Ampas crowd these days.However is it a bleakdud drama about politics or a bleakdud drama about a social issue? Stay tuned.