Friday, 1 April 2011

More Studio Notes For Classic Literature

Last week I used a slow news day to justify posting some of my Twitter silliness where I made up some "Studio Notes" for literary classics.

Well, I have some more, so enjoy.

To. J. Kerouac. Re. Dharma Bums. Folks find the word "Bums" offensive, change to "Dharma Homeless Males."

To. F. Kafka. Re. Prison colony story. Needs a new title because folks might misunderstand meaning of the word "penal."

To. O. Wilde. Re. New play. Not to nitpick, but salami is not spelled "Salome" & why was she named after lunch meat?

To. M. De Sade. Re. New novel. Putting "120 Days" in the title makes the book sound like a long pain in ass.

To. W. Shakespeare. Re. Merchant Of Venice. The Shylock character comes across as too "ethnic." Try renaming him Steve.

To. E. Hemingway. Re. Movable Feast. I don't get the title, there isn't a single food truck in the entire book.

To. R. Dahl. Re. New book. Does the fantastic Mr. Fox have to a fox? Ocelots are very in this season.

To. J. Steinbeck. Re. Of Mice & Men. Mice give me the willies. Try "Puppies." Also, ditch Lenny, he sounds kinda dim.

To. AC Clarke. Re. 2001 project. Book's a bit of a sausage fest. Instead of space can they "odyssey" to Miami Beach?

To. E. Hemingway. Re. Fishing novel. Does your protagonist have to be an "Old Man?" Think Jennifer Garner.

To. S. Crane. Re. Red Badge of Courage. War stories are passé. Think Adam Sandler/Kevin James buddy comedy vehicle.

To. AC Clarke. Re. Space Odyssey. 2001 is an awfully long way away, change it to 1983.

To. V. Woolf. Re. New novel. When the family goes to the titular lighthouse can they find smugglers? Think Hardy Boys.

To. E. Waugh. Re. Brideshead Revisited. Ditch religious/philosophical stuff & think wacky romantic misunderstandings.

To. A. Christie. Re. New character. Can you make Miss Marple young & hot? Oh wait, we're doing it!

To. G. Flaubert. Re. Madame Bovary. The ending's a bit of a downer. I think it needs a heist for an exciting finale!

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