Friday, 17 June 2011

Hollywood Babble On & On #749: Shocked & Appalled

I just saw a report that said the Feds are rolling up an indie film scam like a cheap carpet.

It seems some modern day Eliot Ness called shenanigans on the activities of Q Media Assets, and Cinamour LLC for running a boiler room operation. For those of you who aren't hep to the lingo of big money long con grifters, a "boiler room" is a room literally filled with telephones and people trained to use them. In this case the telemarketers would call suckers leads and tell them about a "wonderful investment opportunity."

The opportunity would be the chance to put money in an independent movie. This opportunity came with a guarantee that 93% of their money would be visible on screen, and that they will receive a 1,000% return on their investment. The scam came from the fact that these "producers" spend less than 1/3 of the $25 million they raised to make and release, two indie films, while pocketing the remaining 2/3s, and instead of the 1,000% promised return, the stooges investors got somewhere between jack and squat.

Now I am shocked and appalled by such scams. Because for every investor burned by such a scam, a thousand will avoid getting involved in independent film at all.

But what shocks and appalls me more, was the apparent ease at which these scammers raised $25 million.

Why can't I get some of that action?

So this is where I throw my hat in the ring, and make my pitch to raise money for at least two independent movies.


I will use that money to make two films of about $10 million a piece for production, then use the bulk of the rest to sell the two movies to a decent distributor who will actually release the film within the decade.

I won't promise you a 1,000% return on your investment. Because I'm not a liar, and you are not an idiot.

What I can promise you is that I will--

- Not waste money on stars who can't deliver at the box office.

- Make a movie with a decent story with commercial appeal.

- Not waste your money on 3D.

- Do everything I can to sell that movie, not only to a distributor, but to the public.

There's a very good chance that you could lose the entire investment, because success in the movies is largely a crap-shoot. What could bomb one day can be a blockbuster the next. So will advise, nay,
insist, that you only invest what you can afford to lose.

At best you can get a good return on your investment, at the very least you can tell the chicks that you're a "for real movie producer," and have the paraphernalia to prove it.

And that is my honest investment pitch.

So let's just sit back and watch the money roll in.


1 comment:

  1. I would seriously give you some money. I don't have 25M, but I would contribute. Oh, you were kidding?