Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Hollywood Babble On & On #760: Sheen.... Shit...

Oy gevalt. This is the kind of blog post I hate to write more than an obituary.

I'm talking about Charlie Sheen news.

Hot on the heels of the further degradation of the once venerable institution of the Celebrity Roast, we are getting reports that he's in talks for a new sitcom deal with Revolution Studio's Joe Roth and Lionsgate TV.

The premise is a weekly sitcom version of the mostly forgotten Adam Sandler / Jack Nicholson big screen comedy Anger Management. Sheen's allegedly in talks to play a variation of Jack Nicholson's character, a counselor who cures people's anger issues and emotional problems by being as annoying as possible through elaborate and contrived situations.

Now I suspect that this is going to fizzle out like the last rumored Sheen deal, and here's why:

1. The Hassle. Shooting television is all
about one thing, KEEPING ON SCHEDULE. Does anyone think hiring someone with obvious mental health and addiction issues on top of a massive self-important ego will help a show keep on schedule?

No. It won't. The moment he feels like he's going to completely screw everything up, and mutter something about how he's allowed to do it because he's really "Merlin, King of the Flaming Assed Baboons."

Which brings us to...

2. The Cost. Sheen won't be doing the show for free, he's going to demand at least parity with his massive Two & A Half Men salary, if not more. Then there's insurance, which will be a nightmare to get, and cost about the national debt of Greece a month, and let's not forget the overtime to cover all the time's Mr. Sheen's too busy chasing "goddesses" to do his job.

3. The Audience. Everyone is sick to death of Charlie Fucking Sheen. He wore out his welcome long ago, and don't mention him selling tickets on his live tour. Those people weren't going there to be entertained, they were going to the show to get a camera phone video of Sheen dropping dead on stage that they can sell to TMZ.

4. The Problem Itself. Sheen needs to learn that he can't go on the way he is without dying relatively young. To do that he needs to hit bottom and realize that he has problems that need fixing. The problem with Hollywood is that the bottom is lined with bottom feeding enablers hoping to score some quick cash on the flaming out celebrity's sleazy notoriety.

Of course this will probably all disappear like a puff of smoke from a crack pipe, and his "people" will then scramble to find some new horse-shit to keep his sorry ass in the news.


  1. From 16-18 Demi Lovato was dealing with eating disorders and other mental issues and managed to still show up to set on time. Despite this she still did 3 TV movies, 2 seasons of a TV series 2 albums and a tour before she had a meltdown.

    Sheen in his forties, is just turning into a total circus.

  2. Blast Hardcheese7/7/11 8:04 am

    That show concept seems awfully thin for a long-running series. Even Jack's schtick would get old after the first 3-4 shows.